Memorable Day · 最终话

After all the chaos we've been through, finally everything was settled. As besties, we've been through a lot I guess. I hope tonight seeing Elmo won't be embarrassing.

By the way, I'm writing this post 'cause today at school we were talking at ST. And I was really having a headache about my acne problem. D: So I said it out loud to them how much I was annoyed about it. However, my friend said that my face is now OK. Quite nice. I was like "really?! o_o" Anyway, I hope my face now is really OK.

There were a lot of boys at ST today. It was like... WOW! All of them dyed their hair either. So I was like... "must be those girls who invited them to come... =,=". That time I was thinking "it's good that I have a guy who doesn't care about my appearance and accept my everything".

After having my lunch, I went home together with my friend by Rapid Bus. It was nice talking to her about love topics. ^^. We share the same taste of guys, that's why. By talking to her, somehow I found the answer to the question. I like Elmo 'cause he gives me a feeling that he's very reliable. I like reliable guys. No matter how they look, they just attract me. Ah... How I wish I can find the guy for me...

Memorable Day · 续

大家好。这应该是我第二次用华文写部落格了。呃……先告诉大家这个续篇不是很好的一篇噢……

还记得我说过我想我喜欢的人拿到了电话号码吗？对了，现在正因为此事而出现了大麻烦！囧 其实我也不知道我做了什么让我的好友生气了。我是不是真的迷糊到一个不行？连最亲、最好的朋友生气了也不知道为何，我实在是一个失格的朋友啊…… /o\……但是我再怎么绞尽脑汁去想，我还是不知道我哪里做错了？我哪里触犯到她了？囧

自从有了这个男生的电话号码，我们两人的关系就有点起伏不定。他的影响力果然很大呢！（冷笑）我知道她是一番好意要把我们俩凑在一起，但是她忽然有了他的号码后就……老实说是有点滥用它了。而且我还没做好心理准备接受任何打击嘛！囧！

这件事是这样开始的：
我的好友告诉他在学校里发生的事。当然，别说是他了。若是我，我也一定会觉得奇怪为何要告诉我这些事情呢？她就说“用你的心来想”。这对我和他都实在是太难懂了。当然，我很感激她想让他知道我对他的情感，但是他都不喜欢我，他怎会想到那里去呢？我知道这件事后，我马上告诉他若我朋友说了什么奇怪的话，请不要介意。他告诉我没事，让我脑里打转了。就因为我对他那么说，我的好友就生气了。她说我的一句话让他一头雾水。可能会让他以为我的好友喜欢他，不是我。她的名声也会因此而被我破坏了。

就这样今天我们没什么说到话。我也不明白为何她那么生气。对我来说，这只是一件小事啊……为什么变得那么复杂了呢？为什么一个男生就可以搞扎我们的友情呢？我不相信我们的友情是那么脆弱的！我多么希望时间可以为我而倒退，但是这是不可能的事，也是不应该做的事。现在我只能靠我自己的双手解决这件事情。现在我不知要如何面对他们了……

有些人可能认为我应该向神祈祷，求他给我一臂之力。但是我不相信神真的存在着。命运是有我们自己的双手而创造的。我们做了的事，就要负起这个责任。

可能这个星期我不会去跆拳道练习了……要说逃避也罢。我承认我确实在逃避。但是我只能现在暂时躲在家里，我一定会把这件事搞清楚。我想她现在一定不想见到我，所以不去也是对的吧……？或许她永远都不想看到我了呢……？为什么做人就是那么痛苦？

Memorable Day

Yesterday is the first time I asked a boy's phone number myself. It was a brand new feeling that made my heart beat so rapidly that I could've just fainted on the spot! Well, it seemed hard to ask for it at first but thanks to my fellow friends that I could pull al my courage together and strife for it. Really thanks to you guys. ^^

Although I got teased when I asked for his number, I was really excited that I got it at last. Could it be a step closer to him now? I wonder... I guess this is the power of love? :D

Today when I showed his name card to my friends they laughed hysterically. However I wasn't embarrassed or anything. Somehow I felt that I've changed. I no longer care ones' looks. Although he might not look that good, I still like him a lot. For some reason...

Dannie printed out the Horoscopes. It was fascinating. ^^ It matches any one of us. It was kinda true there. But the disappointing part is my relationship will be very unstable if I couldn't change my attitude towards him. So, for the sake of having him, I got to change... Sighs... Love is just a hard thing...

Story of Specs

I still remember the day I participated my first Taekwondo competition in my lifetime. Dannie and I were on the bus and by my side was the nice view of Penang looking from in the bus at the Penang Bridge. The sky was pale purplish blue with flaming red from the Sun shining from the back of the mountains. We were both listening to music as loud as possible to cover the annoying voices of the kids on the bus.

That time I was like, "why are these kids so noisy? Can't they just keep their voices down and behave?" As usual, this is a thinking of someone who left the children ages. I remembered that I went back home with Dannie 'cause my parents didn't know the road to the venue... I admit it was really hard to go there. What I can describe is, from there I could see Penang Island from this part of the mainland. If you swim here, you could've reached earlier than coming here by bus. D:

That night was really tiring. There was a little boy in the car with us too. Dannie's mum asked him about his specs. Honestly, it was a pair of glasses that I'll never wear it! That was the glasses I have when I was Standard 4! D: Gosh!!!!! But who knows, he said that this specs is a sign that you'll be a doctor or a scientist in the mere future. Everybody gone bonkers and laughed as hard as we could. But now when I thought of it, why do we become so self-conscious? When we are still little, we don't care about fashion or how people see us. Why do we forget about the heart and mind we had as a child, the pure mindset we had? I wonder...

My Words To You

As you know I like XingLong a lot. Dannie always encourage me to go on and fight for my love. Well, I know I should just fight on even so I don't have the strength and courage to move on anymore.

You know, even though I know this is the first time I chased for a person so badly. A person who is so far apart from me in terms of age, rank and almost everything. He's a black belt, 3rd degree. Whereas me? I'm just a green belt, a sprouting flower waiting to have my bulb and full blossom. Isn't it obvious that we can't be together? Isn't it obvious that I have not much hope for this love? He's the full-grown flower in the center of attraction. I'm just a sprout that doesn't shine in the midst of bushes. He won't notice me, never. Even if I did something outrageous, nothing is going to change. I don't know what to do the make him notice me or see me as a girl.

Yesterday night was a proof that he's not into me - he was teaching us the patterns (which I already learnt it long time ago) behind of the class. I didn't speak much yesterday, somehow... I was in a bad mood and he was either. I was depressed after knowing that he wasn't that into me after asking for some friends' opinion. Or should I say, this current relationship really remains without a conclusion? Well, either he doesn't like me or this relationship remains without a conclusion, it could just ruin my whole day. *Sorry Dannie, I couldn't tell you on the spot although it wasn't your fault. I just don't want you to worry about me too much. Plus yesterday you were also in a bad mood after the scoldings you got from your parents.* Yes, back to the topic, he kept perlying me or you can say scolded me for being a dumb dumb back there... He said everytime he looks at me I look like my spirit has gone somewhere else, far far away. As if I didn't listen to him or whatever... I wasn't alright?! Do I need to nod to acknowledge you that understand what you're saying everytime?! Ah... Great! I'm pissed right now... =,=...

So you see... He doesn't show interest in me and look at how far apart we are... I just don't want to fight for it anymore. I'm tired... I had enough of it. I don't know what he's thinking either. I just couldn't figure him out. Too hard to get him, so far yet so close... This is the so-called unrequited love isn't it? Well, for now I want to surpass him to let me go closer to him. One day, I want to convey my feelings to him or just tell him I did like him before but now everything changed... Who know's what future awaits me?

Post Respoding Dannie's Recent Blogpost

Hey Dannie. Saw your blog. It was interesting especially the poster you disgned for Phor Tay Doomsaday. :D to tell you the truth, I thought it wasa real poster for the event organized by our school when I first saw it! LOL. And when i continued reading till the 3rd paragraph then I realised that it was what you created. I'm really a dumb dumb, am I not? =,=...

Oh yes, it's really a doomsday in our school, I totally agree to that. We got to cut our hair like olden days' Chinese school jerky students. D: Yes, and now we are famous for our exotic hairstyle, exotic indeed... 'Cause it was the type of hairstyle you can only find it on the early 20th century's school magazines (if the school still has it). It's easy to recognize Phor Tay students now. Yes, the ones with the helmet-head hairstyle or the ones with center parting and their hair put behind their ears with pin each side. This is our representitive hairstyle. Sighs...

Oh ya, the horoscope on your post was... I can't find a word to describe it either... =,=... You seemed happy when you were typing that, aren't you? Although yours might be a little too bad... I'm sure you were smiling evily behind the screen when you were typing mine. Come on Dannie, it isn't that I don't want to do something about it. It's just too embarrassing. What if you were me? Will you do the same thing? I don't think so right? Unless suddenly you became so bold like that day... You really made me jaw-dropped when you ran to call for him you know? D: I was stunned that's why I stayed on the spot, didn't move. Anyway, I don't think my love for him will blossom ok? It's impossible in terms of rank, age and height. He won't like me either. I just know, this is a one-sided love, which I really don't want to admit. But still if there's still hope, I still want him to look a me as a girl. =) Ah... How I wish that he is reading this post... ^///^

Haha! Dannie, they were treating you friendly that day alright? They seldom laugh at you though. You should just appreciate being that moment's dumb dumb (I emphasize this 'cause I'm the all-time dumb dumb... =,=). Be happy about it~ XingLong should be there on that day. He'll laugh his ass off I guess. :D

Ok, I'll write some happenings recently then since I'm posting right now, 'cause I don't know when I'll think about writing a post in the future. :D Yes yes, it's him again - the bastard XingLong! I was really fated to practice with him! And it was suffering... -__-... Ugh...! Damn him! I really hope he can see that how frustrated am I from this post! Unfortunately he doesn't know about my blog... Somehow, I feel "thank goodness". I was being bullied badly when he was there. I know my feelings for him is complicated... It's like love and hate. Can I explaine in the theory of Chemistry - partially dissociates? Like sometimes you don't want to stick with him and sometimes you wanted to combine with him so badly.

Next thing about him is some kind of Yin-Yang philosophy... There's a little bad in the good and there's a little good in the bad. He corrected my L-stand, which is a good thing 'cause it's difficult for your senior to correct you in a class of more than 10 students there. So, I was grateful about that. And, he noticed me~ kyaha~! pyon~~~♥♥♥♥ (I know it's not what he meant, it's just my wild imagination...) Ok, until now I thought of the next thing happened, this feeling I had just now had gone far far away. He was still acceptable when he taught me while the class was still on going. After lesson (the part when I said Dannie being bold), he was totally wild! He was holding a cane and teaching me the stances but I still don't get what he was really saying. I almost got hit by the freakish "death scythe" 'cause of saying I need time to go home and think through it. D: So, isn't it like the Yin-Yang philosophy?

The recent one - My mum went interview him on how to participate the national or state taekwondo competition. Then he was sniling while answering my mum, and that moment I knew it! He was enjoying it! Seeing me so helpless and desperate! I just knew it! And yes, as expected, he came laughing at me... =,=... Indeed, I was really annoyed by that! How can he just laughed at me?! I'm still an ammatuer in this field alright?! Damn him!! And then my mum continued interviewing master this time. Now... Even worse. Master, XingLong, KaiSheng and KaiWen just laughed at me on the spot when I was paying my fees with Dannie, 'cause of that bastard saying stuff that I couldn't deny. Hmph!! That was one hell of humiliation that day... I even tried to stay away from him but guess what, he still came laughing at me!! How possible can I not be angry and annoyed?!! For your info, he laughed at me until I got into the car... I was really annoyed!!! DX

Ok, that's it for the happenings of me and him for now... Let's see what's going to happen next... Is it interesting or frightening? I wonder... Anyway, I'm looking forward. One day I must chase till the same level as XingLong. Just so he wait! Hmph! Oh ya, by the way, we, BBR might be performing for the next Youth Jam '11, which is next year. Please look forward to it and support us~ Thank you~ Lastly, DAMN YOU XING LONG!!!!!!!!

OMG!!

Recently i'm car-pooling with GuoHong, one of my black belt senior in my taekwondo lesson. Fyi, that's not the arrangement I want though. And after Wednesday night fetching him home from taekwondo lesson, my mum came to like him a lot. She sais that he's very matured, as a lower 6 student. Sighs... I don't know what'll happen next after my mum takes interest in knowing more about him. Is my doomsday coming? I wonder...

And the worsy thing now is, XingLong saw me talking to GuoHong and becae moody after that. This happened on Monday night. XingLong seemed bothered. Maybe it's 'cause I disturbed the class since I asked GuoHong about who's fetching me back home after the lesson. If I'm not mistaken, he heard it. 'Cause he just looked up at me when i asked. Sighs... This is getting me really bothered. I don't want him to misunderstand anything between me and GuoHong! As you know I like him, not GuoHong!! D: after the lesson I was talking to Dannie and waiting for GuoHong to finish off tidying up the place. I was waiting for him by his car. I thought he'll be coming out soon but who knows that XingLong came out first!! D: we looked at each other. When GuoHong came he turned to his car. Does he hate me now...? I don't want this to happen!! If he really feel bothered about this he should just tell me and I'm sure that that's the sign that's he's telling me that he likes me. I just wated to tell him that i like him!! I don't have the guts to make the first move that's why I'm waiting.

The thing now is... He doesn't smile at me anymore. He didn't even really talk to me. These made me started to miss his cheerful smile and the days we kept arguing. Oh no... I don't want this to get worsen but my mum just said in front of me and GuoHong that next time I should sit in front, means right beside him!! D: this is making the situation worse!! Dr. Dannie help me... T^T... I really don't know what to do now...

An Outsider Entering My Life

Coincidences are really scary. My parents found out that one of my senior, one of the black belt gang is my neighbour! D: Oh no!!!!! My dad met him at the park near our house. What a coincidence huh?! And now the worst thing has come... My parents planned to make me car pool with him to taekwondo! This is driving me insane!!! D: I didn't expect this will happen!

Somehow I feel like car-pooling with him since it's more convenient than the schedule we have right now. Thanks to my parents' activities and business... == But the thing is this is embarrassing! >///
So people... I need help here to analyze which is the best schedule for me. Should I give up my pride and car pool with him? Or should I give up my time to keep moving from my grandma's house and my house? Sigh... This is really a big dilemma for me...

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Taekwondo Thanks

I got my result for my Taekwondo examination yesterday. Well, although I just have been promoted to green belt, my grateful enough. Still, I always hope that i can get double promoted so I was kinda down... Luckily I didn't expect that high from the examiner since that day I screwed up everything so I didn't have a heart attack. :P

Erm... Actually this post is about my gratitude towards Dannie and Elmo... I was still OK at first but when i went back home I don't know for some reason my dad was disappointed about my performance. I called Dannie and talked about it.

In the center at first nobody clapped for me until Elmo asked them to do so, which is a big encouragement for me although it's just a big hand from everybody in the class. I wanted to thank him but I was too embarrassed to do so. I miss a good chance!!!! D: Anyway, thanks Elmo. I really wanted to tell you this one day when I have the courage to do so. I think I'll blush. :S Somehow I really think that it's not wrong to like you, isn't it? I know you don't and you might like someone else (maybe Dannie cause there are lots of things happening between them when I was away), but I'll still like you silently. I really appreaciate what you have done for me for this one time. Again, thanks. :)

After all this, I just tell myself that I'll work even harder to gain double-promoted next time. ^^

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Malaysian Government... ==

I saw the news recently and I felt that... Why our government just couldn't leave religion aside from politics? This, I think we should just blame Tun Doktor Mahathir. To make Malaysians to agree with them as the next government. Of course, I didn't say that it's wrong to use some tactics to attract the people to elect them as the next government, but, they must not have inserted religious topic. Once religious topic is in political subjects, no doubt that this country will be in a huge mess. Although it's obvious that our country now is so racist, the government doesn't want to admit a thing that things are getting worse and whatever they are doing now is useless or even making it worse! Especially the recent news talking about 'Approval of Creating Un-Islamic Clubs'. It's making it even obvious that they are so into religion and yet they said what sucking '1 Malaysia'. Don't think we, the people don't know what you guys are doing!

Moreover, the government is also too free to keep thinking about what relates to anti-Islam. Oh yes, they are! They wanted to ban the logo of Manchester United, EPL's football team, because it has a devil sign on it. It's like... WTF?! You guys have nothing better to do?! Why not using this time to just help improve the country?! Even me as a teenager has the expression of 'WHAT?!' or 'WTF?!' or 'This is stupid... =.='. Their reason for this is they are afraid Islams will be affected to walk on the wrong path. I mean, come on... Can't you have faith in your own believers? I really don't understand them... =.=...

OK, let's just stop talking about those morons. I can't stand my parents too! Why are they so into their business?! Look at the management. It's bad! And their brains are like money, money, money... =.=... Forget it. I really don't like them. They are so different from last time.

About Elmo... I'm doubting about him and my feelings towards him. Thanks to my friends who helped me, especially Dannie and Katrina. But still I need time to think about it... <__<...

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

1st BBR outing @ Bon Odori

Sorry for the late posting. I went to Times Square with Ange before moving on to Bon Odori. I was wearing a set of not-so-exagerating lolita suit. LOL. :D I don't wanna look damn weird there. Fyi, I'm a very easily get embarrassed and I don't like to be weird although I wanna wear something weird 'cause it's nice! From there we met up with Xueling, KhuiChing and YanYun. Oh ya, I knew some new friends from Ange too. ^^ Thx Ange.

Later we went to Prangin Mall and we were so bored that we went off to Bon Odori before them. Guess what, we saw Nick again! WTH?! Why everytime when I'm with Ange he'll appear?! Ange said that too! And we went on the same bus! It was like... -__-...

We reached Esplanade quite early. The sun was still hanging in the sky but it was almost time for its down fall. We went to the beachside. Of course, Ange snapped lots of photos, as usual. :D Until around 8pm, we met up with MeiChern, Ange's best friend then Kara and Haruki. ^^ Everybody reached~! Kara and Haru's yukata were really gorgeous! Plus they themselves look gorgeous enough so people around went round them and snapping like their super models. :D I'm so happy to have such gorgeous friends too! Btw, Kara likes my lolita, as she fancies lolita too. :D Haru's a little quiet 'cause we aren't really familiar with each other yet. And suddenly we saw Zac! So here are some photos of us.

I looked weird. Everyone looked gorgeous~ :D

I looked suck!! But this is the only photo with Zac in there! And 'cause we need to squeeze everybody in a small camera lense, Kara said to Ange, 'You should go to the front. You're small.' And the rest of us is like laughing all over! BAHA!!!! :D Credits to Kara~ And hope Ange don't mind about it 'cause Kara said she said in a good manner. :P

Kara & me. ^^ She wanna snap with me one 'cause she likes the lolita I'm wearing. :D

Damn! Everything is just so memorable! I just missed last Saturday. ^^ Thanks Ange, Kara, Haru and Zac! You guys are the best!! :D

Oh ya, and I'm sorry that I said Haru was being quiet. I shouldn't have push things that fast ince we are still not that familiar with each other. I'm sorry for being a wannabe. ): Forgive me my pals... And thx to Ange. She made me realised what I've done. I really appreciate everything you guys gave me. BBR forever! Cheers~ =D

P.S. : I didn't meet Dannie there but with Yi-Wenn and Ming Yee. And my bro saw YiChing with a guy! :O!!! And my bro's friends said that I look more like my bro's elder sister. T^T!!!!

-馨_Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

WTH?!

Hello again everybody~ this post is majorly talking about weird things happening around me. Nowadays, taekwondo lessons are getting fun! Somehow I managed to get their names except for sotong, octopus and elmo... -__-... Fyi, sotong is Mr. Bald Jr. and octopus is Mr. Bald.

Here, I'll like to share this juicy gossip! Clarissa told me that actually sotong, octopus and shrimp are brothers! OMG!!!! D: We suspected it and now the truth... TADAH! They ARE brothers! That's why they looked so alike... -__-... Even their personality seems similar to each other except for shrimp. Maybe he's still little that's why we can't really know what's his personality... But I guess it's gonna be the same! They must be the 3 insane brothers that will make the whole class laugh their ass off!

Honestly say... The Black Belt Gang really are a gang of jokers! SHIT!!!! BAHA! Sotong and octopus laughed the whole day with us yesterday. I don't know what's going on but when Dannie sparred with them they were laughing all the way! And somehow octopus fell down! BAHA! As for me... I sparred with Specs Boy, which is so boring!!! D: he kept standing there not moving a lot. Fyi, I don't make the first move 'cause to me it's kinda a disadvantage, maybe it's 'cause of my speed... -__-... And yesterday I fed up and shouted at him, 'Can you just make the first move?! Why is it always me who's making the first move?!' And yes... He just laughed silently... As usual. May I know what's happening to these jokers...? After that it's intruder... He some kinda talked to me yesterday which gave me a shock!! He's also one of them of course... They're good fighters and master said that they won't hit a girl. And who knows, they just kicked me... -__-... Wth... Btw, spider didn't attend the class yesterday and Dannie is 'happy' about it. Teehee~ :D

From here, it's a reply post of Dannie's post! Hey! I'm not elmo's ok?! For the final time, we don't like each other and we are impossible! Get it?! Hmph!

For now, I still wish that my b'day wish can be fulfilled~! ^^.

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

My Belated B'day Celebration

Hey everybody. My b'day just passed not long ago. Now turns out that is my buddies b'day. Haha! XD I'm the queen of July~ no doubt~ 'cause I'm always the one who celebrates my b'day first in the month of July. ^^. That, thanks to mum for giving birth to me on that day.

I celebrated my b'day with family on Saturday at Sushi King@E-gate. Luckily I didn't see anyone that I know or I dislike... -__-... Btw, here are some photos of my celebration, just for fun~

My left over Unagi Set. Haha! XD

Actually that's a left-over unagi piece from my dad. Somehow I'm touched of it 'cause it's quite a long time not feeling the warmth from my parents since they are very busy with their new business. I didn't touch it, I gave it back to my dad. And btw, there's a guy in red shirt that day kept looking at me which made me couldn't eat properly... -__-... Anyway, thanks to my family to celebrate my b'day with my favourite food although it's damn expensive!

And yes, thanks to everybody who wished me. The most unexpected thing is... Ming wished me too! Well, actually he forgot to wish me until i remind him. But I'm happy that he still remember when is my b'day. I didn't remind him of that though. As for Jin... He just forgets everything 'cause he has too many exes... -__-... I don't give a damn about this guy!

Ah yes... About elmo... I don't know why but recently he seemed matured. He seldom smile during lesson... And who knows... He somehow just BAHA in the middle of the lesson. I guess his mood is back to a good condition. Finally, I know how old is he! Haha! XD he's damn funny when he's talking about his age~! Btw, he just touched me! T-T... Well, Dannie said it's necessary totouch me to teach me, but! He doesn't need to give me a personal teaching right?! There are bunch of people who don't know how to do it, why must he just teach me alone?! I don't get him! Somehow I told Sky about this and he said he likes me and I love him?! WTH! No way!

Conclusion, happy b'day to me and GET LOST ELMO!!!!

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Happy B'day to me!

Today is my birthday~! Haha! XD! Damn happy about it~! My friends wish me too~ The thing is... The thing I wanted it to happen most didn't came true... I wanted Ming to wish me happy birthday since 12am till now, but seems like it'll never happen now. Hehe. But still I'm happy with my friends without him.

In midnight Dannie was the one who wished me first, which is expected~ haha! XD! You've been spotted Dannie~ XD! Here, I would like to write down what happened today 'cause it's memorable and kinda touched by my friends' wishes. TvT...

Today I went to school as usual. Before going to school I had the tastiest food in Bayan Baru Market~ which suits for a birthday girl, isn't it? XP~ I'm glad that my friends still remember my birthday, especially for those who just transferred to our school. I really thank you guys for remembering it although I said it last Friday. I didn't expect you guys to remember either, honestly. XD! The most touching today is... I gotta thanks to Siti first. I really didn't expect her to wish me Happy Sweet 16 though. I thought you are with the gang who don't have the intention to wish me. And thanks to Hooi Lin too. You guys really made my day 'cause it's really so unexpected! Hey, Dannie, better gimme something good though~ Someone had made me touched~! Haha! XD! Kidding~ Nothing can compare to your kitty birthday song u sent to me. XD! LOL!

After school I ate Indian Fried Noodles... What a lousy birthday lunch! But at least at school it's better with 4 empty periods before the recess~! XD! By the way, we saw someone who looked like Spider at Super Tanker! o__o!!!!!! Luckily I noticed that guy's with her girl from our school, who I knew... If not it's DOOM! I don't wish to see Spider like that... If he is, I'll be really really very disappointed... Really, honestly. I''' maybe even cry in front of him. I don't wish a guy that I wanted to be friends with to be like that- rude boy type.

When I walked back from home, a puppy followed me! XD!!!!! I was so excited! But somehow that puppy almost made me had an accident... -__-... But it's ok, it's still a puppy so I won't blame that puppy. It followed me all the way into the apartment and the guard chased it out... How pity... T^T...!

Anyway, I hope I'll have the best for my every birthday. This birthday, my wish is... To make friends with the Black Belt Gang. ^^. Don't be shocked though, I really want to be friends with them.

Ya, and Happy Birthday~

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

June Holidays

Lots of things seemed to happen during the holidays. But it's a good thing that my parents were too busy about their business that they couldn't come home early during the holidays. Although honestly say, this holiday is kinda bored, but who cares? As long as I live my life as usual.

The first thing I did this holiday was celebrating Nyuk Theng's birthday. It was kinda boring there but thanks to her crazy bunch of friends. They are just damn funny! XD I had a good laugh there. We went to Queensbay to celebrate her birthday. There were 2 guys came to ask Dannie for her number. WTH?! What did they think they are?! How dare they came to snatch Dannie away from me?! I knew that moment I was damn angry about it! Well, I don't like guys to come near to Dannie actually. Is it out of jealousy? I wonder... Anyway, I managed to chase away all the guys and I was impressed about it myself. XD~! Unfortunately we forgot to prepare a birthday present for her... XP. Yes, we celebrated her birthday at McDonalds and there was a cheese cake there~ At first we wanted to watch a movie but seems like there weren't any movies for us to watch and that place is packed! Forget it, so one person of our gang went to Neway by himself and the rest of us walked around... And at last, we sat down at Sakae Sushi. Xi Wern reappeared after a long lost. XD! And there was a pretty sis joining us~ She's really pretty! >//_//
The next thing I did was me going to Angeline's house yesterday. Her house's really big! The ground floor can fit for our band to practice but we need those sound absorber and my electronic drum set... Which cost a lot of money! 囧!!!!!!! I guess I really need to work hard enough to have the money to buy 'cause it costs RM3900!!!!!!! O___O!!!!!!!! Need to work at Sakae Sushi already. They pay RM5 per hour for part-timers, I think it's quite a great deal. ^v^.

Oh yes, yesterday night was the best night I had~ Seems like Elmo wasn't that bad to me now~ He seemed to take interest in Dannie more~ Which I'm very happy about that~! And yesterday night Elmo was kinda foinf it on purpose to put Dannie and I beside Spider and Specs Boy... -__-... But I don't mind, 'cause I got to see Dannie and Spider together~ >//v//<~!!!! They had the same rhythm and tempo in practicing their kicks~ XD So destined huh? Elmo will be jealous though~~~! XD Way to go Dannie~ If it's Elmo or Spider I don't mind them to take you away from me~ They aren't that bad~ XD

Now, let's see what I'll do next then. Nyuk Theng wants to celebrate my birthday tomorrow, which is a little too early. My birthday's in July though. All I wish is to make everyone happy and not that bored. And I wanted to celebrate my first birthday party with Dannie alone. Well, maybe just walk along the seaside as far as we can. I don't know. XP. A for Nyuk Theng and the gang, I don't know. They wanted to go Queensbay again so I really have no idea. I'll slowly think about then, since it's still a long way~ XD

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Argh! My Head!!! DX

Long time not writing since my parents and my brother keep using the net. Now, replying Dannie's post. Hey, it's really spiders everywhere! And the monster is from the comic we bought right? It's so like him!!!! XD Too bad we can't show it to him unless we become friends... Which somehow it's possible... By the way, what you & Spider post? O.o

Now, my turn... Nowadays I've a good sleep, even sweet dreams. And Dannie and I were imagining about when we are all couple-up! Somehow those scenes keep popping out in my mind! Damn Elmo!!! I don't wanna be with him!! T^T But somehow I think he'll be a good boyfriend or even a husband though (same goes to Spider XD)! Haiz... Just hope I won't be with Elmo, even though he might be a good guy. Ya, I admit... Although he likes to tease people around and do things on purpose, he's funny and sorta' cute, patient and maybe he's just innocent, childish and doesn't hold any bad intention... Argh! I somewhat talking like I'm saying good things about him or even like him! DX

Ok, stop with the Elmo thingie... == By the way, my parents recently bullshits me. They are like trying to elt me know how uselss I am and all... Fine, so I show it out! How useless am I! Since I'm already useless in my family, might as well just admit it! However they are like giving me hope and pulling it back, repeating the same thing everyday. Today they went outstation. Yesterday night we were like thinking whether to go with them or not. I was just saying if we go with them, we just need to help them. And my dad said I was scared to help them. What?! Isn't this the fact that we gotta help you guys there?! I do help you guys! Laundry, ironing the clothes and keeping the house clean, all I do it myself! Anyway, I have enough of this!

Then suddenly, they were saying I was thinking negatively. What?! You guys were the ones who wanted me to be like that! And stop giving me all those stupid excuses about how talented I am! If I'm not then I'm not forever! To you I'm always not! I'm always changing for the bad! What did you wanna say more?! Bastard parents!

Ok, that's all... I finished destressing myself on blogging.

By the way, Dannie, thanks for sharing the Taekwondo knowledge. I love Taekwondo too! XD So long~

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

I'm dead = Ka eh si nia... (hokkien)

First of all, thank to Dannie for posting a long post for me to read through about my nightmare. By the way, Dannie's getting cheeky! Dannie & Spider will be together! XD Revenge~ Enjoy and get real Dannie~ Haha! XD

Nowadays we are talking about our Taekwondo lessons. Somehow what Dannie said and imagined came true! As you can see from Dannie's blog, we talked about Elmo having a car in black and red. Yesterday, Master rode a bike in black and red! And maybe it's Elmo's! XD I can't stop laughing about that if it's true! Well, now I hope what she just wrote won't happen...

Well, nothing much to write about either. Just hope everything went on smoothly and Elmo! Stop bullying me!!!! >.< style="text-align: right;">-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Scary Thoughts

Nothing much to say nowadays. Everything just went on as normal except my emotions are very unstable. I don't know what causes my emotion to be so unstable. Sometimes I'll have all those crazy thoughts, sometimes even thinking of doing evil stuffs. Like at the moment I'll say this girl is a good girl, but the next moment I'll be thinking about killing her! D: I don't wanna be like that.. T^T NONONO!!!!!

This morning I woke up at 7.30am. Despite of sleepiness, I went back to bed. I dreamt of something really horrible. It seemed so real! It was like it happened!

I dreamt of me seeinga doctor in Island Hospital, Penang. I went out of the ward, and I saw my parents were talking to the doctor. I could only see through what they were doing through the space between the door and the wall. I heard very clearly but I have forgotten what the doctor told my parents. I suspected that in ym dream, the doctor was saying I had diagnosed a brain cancer! DX My parents stayed emotionless. When they went out of the doctor's office, they were all smiling, they thought I didn't know anything about it. They tried to hide it. Whereas me, I tried hiding that I don't know anything.

The next day, they brought to a mall. I'm not sure what mall is that, but it's kinda familiar. Well, they brought me to buy what I wanted. I asked for a clothing. It was white in colour, like angels in the movie we used to watch. After shopping, my parents took me to the hospital. I walked around and walked up the staircase to the top floor. It was an open-air compound, very breezy. I could feel the wind blowing my hair and it splattered on my face. Then I saw Dannie. O.o "I'm going to die you know? The doctor is going to inject a type of fluid in my bloodstream and put me into an eternal sleep," I told Dannie. She just looked out to the sky, she said nothing and stayed emotionless. Then I continued, "Will the injection be painful? Where am I going to after the sleep? What is it like after being injected?" I asked her. "I don't know..." she replied. Both of us stayed quiet for a long time.

I went down the stairs and back into my ward. While I sat down on my sickbed, the door slammed suddenly. I saw the doctor came in with my parents. The nurse behind them was carrying a tray with a sryinge, cottons and bottles of fluids. The doctor told me to stay calm. He grabbed my left arm and applied the fluid on my arm. The sryinge sinked into my skin and I could feel the fluid in the sryinge flowing. After a few seconds he pulled out the sryinge and turned my body to let my head rest on the pillow. I was wearing my new clothes. I saw my parents looking at me. I stared at them, I felt that my heart pumped faster and faster, I couldn't breathe easily. Slowly my eyes couldn't open widely as usual. The image of my parents in front of me was getting blur. I let go myself and shut my eyes and blood flowed out from my eyes, ears, nostrils and my mouth.

That's the end of my dream. I'm dead, badly. I woke up after it ended. My body wasn't wet. It wasn't frightening. The frightening part is when you think back again, it's so real that you can feel everything in your dream, and the dream had been repeated twice... One last year which my brother had a dream about me having brain cancer and passed away, and now is this morning when I slept back after waking up.

I don't know what to say. My feelings can't be expressed by words. It really freaks me out... What's the sign of this dream? What is it trying to tell me...? I don't know...

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

为什么？！

这世界好神秘，太多的问号要让我去琢磨，太多的事情要我去忍耐。太多的太多，我实在压抑不住我的心情了！

每天放学回家，我一定要洗衣服、晒衣服、烫衣服，全都是我的工作！我好无奈！我哥只是要看一看水壶里的水还有滚水。他工作那么简单，为什么我却要做那么多？！为什么？！原本爸爸告诉我，哥哥会负责抹地，不过怎么久了怎么都没看过他在做呢？！这世界好不公平噢！我好想哭但始终还是无法抒发我的感情！我一再又一再的忍耐，一天又一天的等待，世界何时才会公平呢…？

为什么我会那么的放不开你？为什么我还是无法忘记你？为什么你要一再给我希望与期待？太多的疑问，太多对你的爱与悔恨，我应该怎样才能琢磨得到你呢…？请你告诉我，请你不要一直给我有种错觉你还是爱我的。为什么你身边的那个女生会拥有你？为什么你拥有了她，你还那么贪心要拥有我呢？为什么你要这样伤害我？为什么当天是我们的最后一封讯息呢？为什么过了那天我们再也没联络了呢？为什么？！为什么…？！为什么…

今天我也快抓狂了！为什么你总是要告诉我关于男生如此被你吸引？！为什么你总是要这样子炫耀，让全世界的人都知道你的魅力有多大？！为什么你要装出一幅无辜的样子？！为什么全部人就看不出来你心里在想些什么？！为什么你要装出一副可爱的样子招蜂引蝶？！在你脸上你一直显出你厌恶男生在你周围绕，但在你心里你是如此想要吸引男生的注意力！你想否认吗？！一看就看得出！你根本就是这样的人！如果你真的那么讨厌的话，为什么还要做出那些会吸引男生注意力的一举一动呢？！你太假了！

承认吧！你根本就是这样的一个人！你本性不是这样的！而且你每次告诉我的东西你都拿不出证据！我希望男生不会看你外表而爱上你！你根本就没有显露过你的真面目！我觉得只有我跟你相处久了才看得出来！

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Taekwondo Mania! Part 3

Yesterday was a fun but really 'oh-my-god' Taekwondo lesson! We got to spar with anybody in the class. Let me repeat, spar with ANYBODY!!!! DX Yes, and I got to spar with the black belts.

Before the sparring, we were practicing our techniques for our sparring. The Elmo kept correcting me and gave lots of comments about my position of those techniques, ISH! WTH! I know he's good, I admit, but he doesn't need to keep commenting my every steps right?! Argh... >.<

Luckily sparring practice no need to see him! However, I still got to meet with Mr Bald and Specs Boy! Yeekz! >.< I don't know is it my imagination or what, they didn't really hit me or kick me, they let me go first and didn't really try to fight back. As if they are looking down on me or what?! Anyway, I'll show them that I'm not that weak! And yes, I have shown them by kicking the asshole and the tummy of Mr Bald, but for Specs Boy, we barely hit each other... Weird... =.=

Today at school Dannie and I were complaining about the Taekwondo lesson yesterday night. Spider sprained her leg and now she's temporarily handicap. Aikz... =.= Stupid Spider! Now I'm temporarily Dannie's clutch. Just now when we were going up to chemistry lab, I carried her up but I was laughing so I couldn't focus my strength, so I just carried her for going up one floor. XP

About baboon... It's kinda quiet... Don't know why... Maybe she found her banana. XD But the thing is, we are in Spider and Elmo's world today! >.<>.<

By the way, my friend, Angeline formed a band and I'm in~ I'm the drummer~ XD Yay~ Finally I've a band with close friends~ So, wish our band good luck, cooperative and have a bright future. Our band name for now is Paranoia, I'm not sure we're going to change or not. But for now, Paranoia Go Go Go! XD

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Today IS A Fairytale!

Today I went to school early again. We gotta clean the school. Heard that this activity is nationalized by the government. Well, we can't help it but to come to school without saying 'no'.

I went to Dannie's house then we went to school together. At first we were happy that baboon wasn't there. We thought so... So we were like very relaxed. Suddenly she shrieked beside us, very close to us at the compound we used to have our daily meeting. I guess no way we are going to make her disappear, and it's so no way that we will try to avoid it! Why should we?! We aren't doing anything wrong to her! Is this baboon who likes to simply shriek at people!

Anyway, today our teacher-in-charge of our team is Kuna. Be grateful that it wasn't Kala! XD We cleaned our own classroom. Supposing we need to clean another classroom, but we screwed up so we swapped with the other team which they supposed to clean our class. XP And now our classroom is squeaky clean~ ^^ We finished so fast that we sat down chit-chatting and Dannie and I taught Katrina Taekwondo. She said she might be coming to our center on Monday during the holidays after our 1st Mid-Term Exam. XD Welcome to Elmo's world Katrina~ XDDD

Finally school dismissed, and we need to stay in school for awhile to snap some photos for the sivic project... After that Dannie and I walked our seperate ways home. By the way, I did brought along my handphone so I texted my mum to pick me up right away~ Haha! XD

Erm... Here's the shocking news for myself... My ex asked me whether I wanna be with me again or not?! O.o! What the heck?! Well, I can say... He doesn't even mean it. 'Cause I asked him about his girlfriend or maybe ex... He keep avoiding the question and now didn't reply my message. Great! That's why I hate guys! Really hate them! If you have someone with you, please love them whole-heartedly! Idiotic boys! Boys always like to have lots of girls by them, and then they will slowly play them, one by one! I hate them!!!!!

I went for drum lesson today. I was waiting for someone in the room so that I can start my lesson. Guess what, I saw a 20-year-old lady (I guess...), with lady-like dress ups in the room! OMFG!!! She looks so matured and so lady-like, not like me, but she learns drum?! Oh oh oh... =.= Can't imagine. But one thing I know is, she's a newbie. So... Good luck newbie... Drum isn't that easy as it looks.

-馨Don't Speal 被你着迷>孤单<-

School Days With You + the 'Black-Belt Gang' ^^

Today I woke up later than usual! >< Aiyo~ All 'cause I wanted to sleep longer and hope I won't wake up from my sweet sleep and when I opened my eyes in a shcoked manner, the clock showed 7.15am! Yeekz!!! D: And ZhiKang texted me and I didn't reply for quite a long time there. I picked up my phone and ran around the house like crazy snuts! Then my mum need to fetch my dad at his colleague's house. Luckily I still managed to rush to school. I was lucky to meet Danicia too~ However, we both got yelled by our assistant headmistress... =.= Well, sometimes even if you're lucky you can't avoid some other stuff... =.=

Anyway, we just sat down for a few minutes and then we went back to class. Thanks to that stupid discipline teacher that we need to sit down again and stand up quietly. Ya,she emphasized the word 'QUIETLY'! She's so damn annoying. =.=

Everything went on nicely 'cause we had a lot of free time before recess. Physics lesson for me is like a free period to talk and have fun. The teacher doesnt care about me anyway... She doesn't like me 'cause my Physics is damn lousy... And, Chinese teacher was absent so we were damn happy about it~ If not we need to copy those sample essay again... And today we had 2 periods of Chinese, this is great! XD After this is Modern Maths lesson, which I didn't get to talk but just sit there doing other stuff... ( I don't pay attention in class... Never! ) Dannie let me doddle on her paper she teared out from her little notebook. Haha! XD I doodled all the members of the 'Black-Belt Gang'~ Haha! XD Oh my god! It seems like I was so into drawing them until I drew so many for Dannie. Dannie took home a huge 'poster' of a Spider, a full page of Spec Boy's doodle and Spider's too~ Haha! XD I was imagining what if we distributed to the whole Taekwondo class? XD They will be doom for sure man~!

The frustrated thing is the baboon! She just saw Dannie and shrieked when the whole 4SA was going to the Physics lab. And even recess also she couldn't stpo shrieking! The worst thing is Dannie and the baboon saw each other eye to eye. She was like wanting to challenge Dannie, but of course Dannie won~! Dannie's stare is always that scary that no one can stand it for long. Haha! XD And then baboon went off and shrieked. When she came back and went upstairs she also shrieked something. Well, for now obviously she don't dare to shriek in front of any of us.

Guesss what, we asked JiaJoe about this baboon. She said she seldom talks to her, but now is like totally don't try to talk. She said last time she was a better person, but maybe after mixing with those 'people' she changed, entirely! See baboon? People hate you! So don't try to act all cool there alright?! =P

Finally, school dismissed~! We got to meet up with NyuekTheng~ Great! Long time not seeing her either. I sensed that nowadays she was avoiding us somehow... We walked until Super Tanker and we seperated there 'cause Dannie and I were going to have our lunch at Gateway Cafe. Luckily we didn't see the baboon suddenly appear in front of us. I wonder how she will appear so sudden sometimes, maybe she dropped from the tree of what... XD

We went there and the waitress asked us to wait for the chef and the ice. Aikz... =.= So Dannie used the time to do her Sivic homework. Luckily it didn't took us long. We ate Pattaya and drank Red Bean Milk~ As usual... We chatted about the 'Black-Belt Gang' again. Haha! XD Sometimes I wonder why do we have so many things to say about them. They really made our day sometimes. I admit they made our Taekwondo Days more interesting and hilarious. Haha! XD Actually there's not a lot of things to talk aout them either. Almost everyday we talked the same thing about them again and again, but still it's funny when we recall, or somehow dig up our memmories?

We talked about them until we forgot the time. When Dannie looked at her watch it was already almost 4pm! Yeekz!!!! >< That's why there were so many Phor Tay students came into the shop to eat too! What the heck?! And today both of us supposed to go home earleir than usual. Oh sucks! I can be home before 4pm but I'm worry for Dannie. I still haven't text her and asked about it... I think I should text her right now. =.=

Anyway, it was a day full of excitement and sudden-attacks! O.o! By the way, I read Dannie's blog. There's nothing thanks about, Dannie. I'm ready to be by your side always ok? Take care~!

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Parents, Parents

This morning my dad woke up late again. Haiz... I know... He was very busy until he couldn't get enough sleep, however I think it's his responsible to fetch me to have my breakfast and to school, so he couldn't just sleep until 6.30am.

He took me for my breakfast first and then went back home to get prepare for his work. I finished eating and waited for him to come. Oh man... It was so late. When I arrived school, students started to go to their respective classes. I waited for 4SA to appear in front of my eyes so that I can just squeeze into the line. And that was when I saw the baboon, but she didn't even stare or give me a glare or make a stern face.

While I managed to squeeze into the line, Dannie asked me did I find any changes in her. I was not quite sure but I saw her eyes were swollen a little. As I expected, she told me she cried the whole night. In my heart, I knew, it was her family again.

She told me about it during Malay period after her oral assessment. Her tears rolled out of her eyes, her eyes became red and teary. She told me the whole story about it. And then she told me that her parents talked about me. Somehow when she was talking about that, I think her parents were trying to hint me that I'm a bad influence to their daughter. Somehow that thinking just came into mind.

She said that I'm her first priority 'cause I'm her best friend, a person who she can talk to, a person who care for her. Yes, I always am standing by her. I wanted to help her from her world that's full of depression and disappointments. It's not fair for someone like her to have everything bad on her shoulders. I have to help her. For me, it's somewhat became my everyday life to help her, listen to her, comfort her. It's like a duty or a responsibility 'cause I'm her best friend. I am! And that makes me out of my thinking that I shouldn't exist in her life. Even if her parents don't like us to be so close together, I'll be with her, I'll never back off.

As I listen to what she said, I think, her parents actually do care for her. But in a different way. It's way too different to make teenagers like us to think that that's love, 'cause it isn't what we thought about love.

Sometimes parents are over-protective and try to tie their children up, they didn't realize it. Yes, whatever you do there's a limit, but sometimes parents are really doing it to the extent.

Like Dannie's case, I couldn't explain to her. I don't have proof to say that her parents love her. They just keep her in and expecting everything perfect from her. Her parents love her, but to whoever who sees it in a direct way, it's not love! This is not the way to love! Her parents weren't giving her freedom, privacy and forcing to like whatever they wanted her to like it. Dannie, I really do pity you. Your dreams just fade away and your talents were killed by your parents and your sister. They just wanted you to follow but not thinking what you wanted.

Somehow after listening to you telling me what had happened, I started to realize how wonderful parents I have. My parents treated me better than how Dannie's parents treated her. Haiz... But nothing is perfect, nothing is enough. Maybe, parents just express their love in their own way, but we couldn't understand. They kept saying that whatever they did for us is for a better, easier and happier life for us, but we couldn't understand 'cause in any way it isn't a life that we wanted. What I hope is what they said it's real and what they will never regret for what they did too.

Parents, parents... How can we understand them as we are teenagers? How can we know what are you thinking? I know it's hard to be a parent but still we wanted to understand what do you want from us? What will make you look at us? What will make you notice what we wanted and what we did?

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Taekwondo Mania! Part 2

The first time I was early for Taekwondo lesson. Haha! XD 'cause my parents need to meet up with their customers and business clients. I fetched Dannie and her sis then we waited for the previous class to finish. That time Dannie was doing Kala's grammar homework. I can say, that homework will kill anybody's brain. =.= We got to use all the connectors given to form a paragraph. Both of us were having a serious brain freeze when it comes to this.

Ok, here it comes. Taekwon~ And then it's our turn to attend the lesson... Haiz... Elmo again... =.= Seeing him is the worst thing ever in my life! Without the 'gang' I would've had a better life!

I thought Master was going to free us from training. I thought it was going to be better to leave the 'gang' there. Guess what, colour belts need to train our basics with Elmo!!!!! Yeekz!!!! Oh god...! He purposely made us tired, and we didn't get to rest or even drink water!!! Luckily my stamina still can handle this stupid Elmo's tortures! But he kept bullying me, asking me to shift my foot or open my 'L-stand' wider. What the heck! How dare he even touch my feet with his feet!!! Get lost you red evil fuzzle!

Finally, I can go home and not seeing this red evil fuzzle... But before I go home, I need to take my belt~ I'm upgraded~! Haha! XD However, I'm still the lowest grade among the others in the 2nd class... =.= How humiliating... And, I gotta see Elmo the red evil fuzzle again!

He was sitting in th car searching for something. His position is like spider crawling on the passenger's seat! Haha! XD Training himself into Spider I guess... Well, what can I do...? I couldn't avoid him either... Haiz... Just sacrifice a little then... T^T

I asked my belt from him and he purposely didn't wanna pass my belt to me! Keep acting all ignorant! Dannie and I kept shooting him with emphasizing the word 'Elmo' and talked about Dannie's blog, but he didn't react. He only reacted when Dannie said," Do Elmo care about us?" when he advice us not to drink too much water after the lesson. Haha! XD And then well I was waiting for him, he was looking at the medal and asked us what colour is it! Did he expect us to go near him and tell him what colour is it?! Can't he see for himself?! On the lights if you can't see, stupid Elmo!

I got my belt and Dannie already gone home. I got a size 5 belt, which I knew it was too long by looking! The Elmo still threatened me that try the belt now and if it's too long still can change it today, but not after today! How dare he?!!!! Argh!!!!!!

I was waitning for my parents. Well, today is the first time i went home later than Dannie. Haiz... Master was about to go but he waited for me to go home first only he leaves. O.o Thanks Master but actually you don't need to wait for me, I'll be fine. And you know... Elmo is in Master's car too... So... I don't wanna make things become Elmo is waiting for me to go home too... =.= I hate it...

For today, my school life is going on as usual except knowing Mr Bald Junior will be anywhere around school. And me recalling the 'gang' stared at me during Taekwondo lessons made me feel all angry! Don't know what will happen if I continue to be in the same center as them. =.=

Today the baboon only shrieked once. Good! Keep her mouth shut with a banana~ Plus today our school dismissal time is later than the rest of form 4, so we won't be seeing her baboon red ass. XD We had our lunch at Super Tanker peacefully~ While we were eating, Dannie suddenly suggested us to call Elmo as Elmo Korr Korr, as he always call Dannie as Jiie Jiie. Haha! XD Good suggestion Dannie~ I think we should start calling him by that~!

That's all for today I guess. And my house's washing machine is really making me spinning! ya, it spins. It also makes me spin! (headache) =.=

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Mother's Day Special?

Today is Mother's Day isn't it? For me, today isn't a special day either. Actually everyday is a special day, isn't it? It's a miracle that you can open your eyes the next morning and see everything so beautiful around you. To me, all these special days are just meant for having lots of profit for gift shops and restaurants.

Well, today my dad had a 'family meeting' with us. He gave us responsibility to help mum the housework. Is this to celebrate Mother's Day? Haha! XD I'm not sure. What I'm sure about is my busier days are coming... Haiz... Although I don't like it, I have to do it, there's nothing I can do.

Finally I get to go to drum lesson. Haha! XD Teacher, I apologized that I didn't attend your class for 2 weeks! Yeekz! By the way, the training today made my wrist all painful... Ouch... Luckily the bruises are healed so there's just the pain on my wrist. Thanks to teacher, he gave me a difficult song piece that needs to shuffle like hell! Aikz...

Anyway, I think today is a fine day that I waited for so long ago... ^^ Peaceful, no more fights... Except for the baboon and the 'Black Belt Gang'... They make me nuts! Ish!!!! Hope my good luck will come in handy. ^^

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Taekwondo Mania! (1st post that's shocking...)

Ha... Today I have to wake up early in the morning for school activities. I'm so tired but yet I have to attend school for club activities.

Yesterday, the 'baboon' just shrieked in the public to us! Oh my god~! Wouldn't it humiliate itself in front of the public? I wonder... Or maybe it doesn't have any pride at all? XD Well, who cares? It didn't humiliate me then I don't care a shit about that red-ass creature. And it was the one who came here. How dare it accused us that we were like intruding her territory? Weird baboon... Yet it said it didn't want to see us. Actually it should go off itself since it came here by itself later than us. == Finally she left but still shrieking. Well, let it shriek. It is a baboon, what do you expect...? -,-

Guess what, today we need to see the baboon again! Luckily she didn't do anything to us, 'cause there are teachers around. But if she dare shriek, I'll use my socks to shut her up! XD

There is something interesting happened this morning. I went to eat my breakfast at the market nearby my house. I saw someone who looks like Specs Boy! O.o I wasn't sure about until my mum asked him when he served over the food! Yeekz! >< ( please do know that my mother is a freakish person that she can do anything that's in her control...) That time I thought I'm doom! Luckily, my mum just asked that whether he learns Taekwondo or not... So the answer is... No... So, lucky~ I won't meet someone here often then... But it really was shocking. Another thing is... Mr. Bald Junior is studying my school! Yeekz!!!!!!! >< I don't even know that he existed in my school for so long! How can he be here?! I'm just afraid that he heard what Dannie and I talked about them... Oh no... Hope everything will be as usual after finding out this unwanted truth!

Now, wish me good luck whenever I go then. I feel that anytime I'll just bumped into one member of the so called 'Taekwondo Black Belt Gang'... T-T

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Gloomy Day

Today I went to Danicia's house earlier than usual. We need to meet up Ms. Kala for the Zone and District English Debate Competition. This IS serious! One mistake and you'll be complained like shit... =.= This time things worked upside-down. We are the timekeepers for the debate (tomorrow is Dannie, and then the day after tomorrow is me!) and we need to countdown the time this round! Which is totally different from the past Debate Competition! Yeekz! O.o! I hope I can cope with it then... Wish me good luck.

Everything went fine today but not until Chemistry lesson. Before that, Dannie was being scolded innocently by our Maths teacher. O.o! Just because she answered her question wrongly and she needs to stand for so long. Actually this is because previously the teacher was frustrated that Sheau Wen didn't pay attention in class and answered it wrongly. But this doesn't mean that she can just yell at other people right?! I don't get her... =.= Of course, things got moody from there... Thanks to the teacher who simply yell at innocent students...

Obviously, Dannie's mood changed. I understand why. It wasn't fair! Like these days ma parents wanted to get through me about the incidents happened recently among us. But still it's unfair! I don't get it! Why should we pay respect to someone who doesn't respect you in the first place? I think that everybody, no matter elder or younger are still humans! There's nothing to differentiate unless you are something not human! Ha... Just don't get it... Anyway, adults just like giving excuses to push everything to us... Unfair, unfair...!

(Back to the topic)
In the Chemistry lab, Dannie sat further away from me. I thought she doesn't wanted to talk to me anymore. Plus, I didn't wanna interrupt her from her Chemistry Lab Report homework. That's why I kept quiet. I was puzzled to see her suddenly so close to Jia Joe and Hooi Nee, which happened once in a blue moon! O.o! I looked at her, but she ignored me. I guessed she really doesn't wanna talk...

I tried to start a conversation but don't know what to say. So before school ends, I told her that I wanted to go to the library to return the books. At first she couldn't hear it, I laughed, but she just gave me a smile. Then I repeated my sentence, she nodded. "What can I do to know what you were thinking, Dannie?" I was thinking about it in my heart.

After the school dismissal bell rang, everybody rushed out the classroom. Dannie needs to throw the rubbish today, so I waited for her. When she was done packing up then she walked out, not waiting for me. I sped up my footsteps. I don't know what to say, just mere silence between us. I think she knew, when she's gloomy, I won't talk and let her calm herself down and open her heart to me, tell me everything.

Time passed and still Dannie stayed gloomy, and me waiting for her to talk. We couldn't make up our mind where to eat. I showed my purse to Dannie that I don't have money. She remained not talking and just using sign language to communicate with me. I was kinda sad actually. I don't know what had happened and the first time I felt so clueless and helpless.

Finally, we decided to go to Bucket Shop to have our lunch. I don't have any money to eat, so I was waiting for the Money Tree (my brother) to come and 'rescue' my hunger. Dannie spoke, she said she can lend me some money. I declined the offer, 'cause I was afraid this will spoil the whole atmosphere between us. Plus, I don't want to owe her money.

After that, we remained silence again. We read our books we borrowed from the library. My brother came, she was a little lightened, as you know my brother is the funny guy. I was waiting for food and then suddenly Dannie stood up and said she needs to leave. So I just waved her goodbye and she was gone... I knew something had happened, but just I don't know how to let her tell me.

Until just now, she text me. Everything was just a misunderstanding. Haha! XD We laughed at ourselves, being so thoughtful about each other. And her blog wrote about it too. Haha! XD This is funny~! As usual, we always resolved our fights or misunderstandings. Hehe! ^^

Here's a message for Dannie:
Dear Dannie,
I'll never hate you except for last year that you didn't tell me about the whole thing about MH & BH. I thought you hid something from me. That's the only thing that made us apart since we knew each other. And this made the whole class kept crapping about me too. But thanks to you that I realized not everything you must tell me. Everyone has secrets to keep. This is what I have learned from Si Chia. She made me realize how selfish am I.

And if you have anything just tell me. Like today's incident, you could just talked to me about it. Please trust me as your best friend ok? Love you Dannie. ^^

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Unforgettable Past

On friday night I just had a fight with the whole family. Why is everybody opposing me in the family? What does it mean as family actually? I don't know. I feel that I just have parents who only care about their business and money. Everything is money! Money makes the world goes round. That's right. Nowadays parents don't try to understand what are their child thinking. As long as we are wrong they'll scream our heads off!

That night was a terrible night that I couldn't forget how much I hate my parents, including my brother. I was doing my homework given by Ms. Kala. The clock struck at 8pm. I kept wondering when are they going to go for dinner. As I was thinking, suddenly they shouted me out for dinner. I replied their rude way of summoning me. But seems like they didn't hear it. They got all fury, so was I! Then because of that my dad gave me a 'lecture'. What was wrong?

As they said, they called me for many times, but I didn't respond. From what my ears could hear, they only called me for the 2nd time! How can they just scolded me for this misunderstanding?! I tried to explain and tried to make them understand what was going on. But who knows, they don't even want to listen and they are right, as usual. They gave me a good lecture and made their own conclusion that it's all my fault. And my brother said that last time he was just like me, but he couldn't learn anything like that, so he asked me to change my attitude! Don't think you are elder and so-call all grown up then you can just give me a lecture too! Shut up! The greatest thing is my parents still can talk about their business while this thing isn't all settled! I cried silently in the public. I couldn't stand the hatred and the pain in my heart. My family is entirely changing. I no longer recognize them...

This morning I saw someone posted an interesting post on Facebook. I told ZhiKang the truth about the girl he loves might have a boyfriend already. Sorry ZhiKang, I didn't mean to make you all sad and so depressed. I'm sorry... But if don't tell you the truth one day you'll found out too. And that time I guess, you are so into her until you'll have a major break down that time when you knew it. As Chinese saying, "长痛不如短痛". I really don't want to see it when you have that major break down that I couldn't imagine. I truly am sorry for you.

And now you made me think of Ming. How awful... == Why would I suddenly think of this past...?! I wanted to forget it but seems like it's difficult. Can anybody just kill me?! I don't want him to remain in my mind and my heart. I can't move forward with him remain as the saddest memory... If we can't be together, then just kill me... Please!!! He is in my mind, that I keep thinking of him and having illusions of him by my side. He is in my heart, that I kept feeling that he still loves me and having illusions that he haven't forgotten me. I can feel his existence everywhere. If this continues, I don't know what will my future be... I really have no idea how can I move forward...

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

April's Over- The First Happy Post

As you see my previous post, I wrote about the busy April life I'm going to live. Now, it's all over. ^^ There are the ups and the downs of course. But, I managed to face everything till the end of April.

Well, the beginning of April I was rushing for my Public Speaking, which is important to me, 'cause it's representing the school. Unfortunately, Ms. Jaine had chosen Charissa for the Allocation. I was kinda disappointed actually, but still I was happy for Charissa. ^^ Since the day Ms. Jaine chose us for the competition, we became friends although I don't really like to mix with prefects. XP

On the very day of our school's Sport's Day, Charissa went for the competition. Unfortunately she didn't have a victorious ending for it. XP Whereas me, I was kinda angry that day 'cause I thought Dannie left me alone and went to Katrina's side. Actually, it was just all misunderstandings. Maybe I was jealous back there... XP

During this whole April I was playing Scrabble with Dannie! I almost gone insane by playing it every week! 囧！！！！！！

Throughout the month, here comes Taekwondo examination. I was very confident that I'll get my yellow belt, but who the heck knows that Master straight let me go for the exam with Wei Loon who was a green belt! 囧！！！！！！！！ I was frightened, totally! You can ask Dannie about it. My face went pale and emotionless. It was a big shock! In my heart, there's fear and only fear! I didn't know what to do and just do what I could remember! I did my Kwon-hyo wrongly, obviously! After the exam, I sat down at a corner and caught my breath. But still I was so frightened that my legs went soft and jellified!

Lastly, the tournament... *ta-dah...* I don't like MRSM! They kept pushing people during sparring! HATE IT!!!!!!! I thought I didn't win anything, but who knows, I got bronze for individual sparring and silver for team sparring, thanks to Ms. Red Belt, Clarissa and Vernicia. ^^ By the way, Clarissa got the best female student under 12 big trophy~~~~!!!! Thanks to Clarissa who make CEC glorious~! XDDDDD Unfortunately she went back earleir, if not she will be known throughout the whole SPU group.

And guess what, I got triple promoted~! Haha! XD Now green tip but still need to stand at the back row, 'cause others are higher grade than me... Haiz... Humiliation...

The most horrified news is... Elmo knew we nick-named him as Elmo!!!! 囧！！！！！！ Doom! Maybe even Spider knew... Thanks to Vernicia... Haha! XD It's damn funny to let them know actually. I wish I can see that face when they heard us calling them like that! XD Anyway, I love Taekwondo! I'll put all my focus on it! Go Ashley! XD

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Busy April!

Hello~! Exam week just passed~ I'm so happy! XD Haha! But the thing is I failed for my Physics, which is bad... =.= I don't know how to tell my parents about this... XP But luckily my result wasn't that bad till I can't tell any of them, I guess.

April will be a month full of excitement! Today I just came back from Seberang Perai State Library for the Scrabble Workshop. I found out that it's hard to compete with other school like CLHS (=.=) and CGL. They are really strong in English and they've their own strategy which is really better than PTHS... Haha! XD Well, we'll really got to compete with other schools on 17th April... Haiz... -,- By the way, the national schools are not really good at vocabularies... =.=

There are lots more events await me. Now I'm worrying about Taekwondo exam & tournament + English Public Speaking. Argh... I really need help for all these events. Well, just good luck to my April... And my brother's b'day is around the corner~ ^^

And, nowadays I didn't text Ming. Haiz... Looks like he doesn't want to text me either. I just gonna wait then. I'm kinda busy nowadays too. So, I'll find a time to text him. Ciao~

My Heart Beats

Now is the second day of the exam. To me is nothing difficult 'cause I don't care about exams. XD Well, just hope no red ink in my report card, but I think I'll fail my Add Maths. XP Well, just got to bear with it until Thurday then it's over~! XD

By the way, here's a few words for Dannie too. ^^
Dannie, I'm happy that you're so concern about me. Hehe! ^^ As always, you're there for me. Yes, I really really love him. I don't know what makes me like that. I'm also confused by this strange feeling. I think that it's too young for me to fall in love so deeply. I know he maybe doesn't like me, but still I've to try. If he doesn't like me I still want to make him like him in any way. Again, I know love can't be forced, so I'm totally confused. @.@ But, if he still likes me, of course I'm going to go for him. Somehow, I feel that it might last long, sometimes I also think that it mighn't... Haiz... I really don't know how to do... For now, I'm sure I really really love him into the core of my heart. Well, the song... Haha! It's kinda awful actually. XP But it's meaningful to me since it's right from my heart. I wish that you were him, you know? 'Cause you're so close to me, I hope he's so close to me too. Anyway, thanks Dannie~ ^^

Here's a few words for Ming...
Ming, I know you've a girlfriend now. But still I really love you. I don't know why either. However, you don't like me anymore, I'm kinda sure even though you didn't say it. Whenever we talked about us you'll switch the topic such as saying you're playing games or you have something to do. You're so mysterious that I don't know what are you thinking nor what you want. I remeber a few months ago you said you see me as a friend only, but I can't! I'm sorry!! Although we managed to get back together the past few months, the next day is like normal again. Well, I didn't mean to separate you and your girlfriend. I just want you to know that I love you inside my heart. I won't make you and her life miserable. I'll just love you quietly... I tried to forget you but couldn't. Just... Maybe it's wrong to know you...? Or just I'm fated to love you without return... I miss you.

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

I'll Never Forget You

Since yesterday I've made up my mind to keep Ming in my heart forever. Although it's a little silly, I love him really much. I don't know what to do other than waiting for him quietly. I know, this is not going to work but still I try, I have faith in him.

About the previous post, when I looked back I laughed! Haha! XD Why did I have that thinking about being jealous and liking him?! What the heck?! Haha haha! XD Well, I swear that'll never happen again. ^^ I only love you my dear, although you don't love me anymore. But still I can't forget and let go of you, I really really really love you. Please stay with me...

By the way, band practice today is still OK. At least don't need to get punished from leader~!!! Haha! XD So, I'll like to share my song to everybody, I did my best to compose it.

对不起宝贝，
打扰你入睡。
对不起宝贝，
因为我太想念在你怀抱里睡。
可是每逢简讯你都不回，让我心碎。
难道我们真的没有挽回的机会？

请你回复吧，我的宝贝！
虽然我知道我不再是你的宝贝，
但请你至少别让我落泪。
我看着那电话没有蓝宝石的光芒，
含泪闭上眼睛，
却无法入睡。

对不起宝贝，
我真的很后悔。
对不起宝贝，
我还是希望你回到我身边。
那沙发让我想起了你那甘甜的水帘。
难道以后我都看不见我思念的那一面？

请你回来吧，我的宝贝！
虽然我不再是你的宝贝，
但请你至少别让我落泪。
我一个人躺在沙发上回味，
含泪闭上眼睛，
却无法入睡。

回顾我们在咖啡店，
你害羞的那个画面。
现在我只能把这些放在心里独自怀念。
人海中发现了你，
却发现这只是一个美丽的错觉。
我依然等着你，希望你回头，握紧我的手。
我答应我一定会永远珍惜我们的爱，
请你不要弃我而离开。

请你回来吧，我的宝贝！
虽然我不再是你的宝贝，
但请你至少别让我落泪。
我一个人躺在沙发上回味，
含泪闭上眼睛，
却无法入睡。

这首歌特别献给我一生中最爱的人。我等着你回来，我相信你有一天会回头看我。我爱你…

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

My Heart Pounds Part 2

Well, the previous post I was talking about a boy right? Things didn'treally getalog well with him bu luckily with my help he replied her message and made her laugh by his own joke. ^^ I'm good at all these tricks though~ Maybe that's why Dannie will be happy with me most of the time. I so hope that I born to be a boy... XD Maybe if I'm a boy I can get lots of girls' attraction, who knows? Haha! XD Jus crapping~!

By the way, my brother went for his frisbee competition today, so I'm the one who needs to stay at home and do all the job for tomorrow's Potluck Dinner. Actually what's Potluck? O.o? Where did this word come from? Duh, I'm so curious about it... Can I google it? My friends in Plurk told me that you can search anything by Google, and one cute thing my friend said is... Thanks to Uncle Google~! Hahahahaha!! XDDDD

Today I kept wondering, what's really love? I thought I knew it clearly, 'cause you know, I'm still loving someone in my heart. Suddenly I just couldn't get it. I was frustrated by his messages. Almost all the messages there's always a girl in there. At first I can still stand this frustration, but today, I blast! I don't know why either. It makes me feel like I'm being used! When she's busy only he'll send messages to me. I had enough! I don't want this! Althought I know it's not right to be like that, but I really don't want him to keep talking about that girl! What's going on to me...? I just wanted him to be with me... Maybe...?

Well, now I'm ok already. I'm so selfish. I know he only belongs to her but yet I still want to snatch it over. Maybe just something's wrong with me just now. Haha! XD I'm used to be alone. Well actually I'm not alone. I have Dannie, music, arts, taekwando and all sorts of weird stuffs that can spare my free time. ^^ I don't have to think so much. Hehe! ^^ Just for now I'm scared that if I continue to rely on him I might fall for him, which I don't want it to happen!!!!

Now, I just need to think that he's just a friend, don't expect anything from him. I just keep this mind set and keep the guy in my heart forever in place. I'll never ever lose focus of him anymore. I'm not going to fall for any other guys anymore. I only have him in my heart, one and only. I'll wait... I just need to keep my eyes and my heart, literally close, that's all I got to do. Good luck my friend, find your happiness.

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

My Heart Pounds

Taekwando lesson on Wednesday is awful. Master was training our strength on our stomach. I know that part is important for fighters like me. It's better to be painful now to gain achievements on free-sparing. Haha! XD But my stomach muscle really hurts after the intensive training on our body muscle.

Recently I have new friends. I know Carissa, who is my senior in Taekwando but younger than me in terms of age... =.= Guess what, she's Heryeong's cousin!!!! 囧！！！！！！！！！ This is insane! Finally, I believe that Penang is small. Well, not to mention, talking about Heryeong makes me think of Linghan... =.= Carissa knows who is Linghan you know?! Which makes me speechless and no comment. When Carissa told me this I was speechless and remained silence for a few seconds with my mouth wide opened! 囧！ Yes, this expression really reflects my facial expression that day. By the way, Spider is really weird. He never yell at me before. Is he afraid of me? O.o! Weirdo... =.=

Talking about Linghan, he gave my number to a certain guy recently. Well, seems like it's not that bad. We can chat along. We shared lots of things. About our family, our problems and our love problems of course. I told him about Ming, which makes me feel like crying to miss him so much... Well, just got to slowly forget this guy who is in my heart. I'll just keep him as a good memory deep down my heart.

For him, he liked a 15-year-old girl, who studies in PCGHS for 2 months. Seems like that girl doesn't notice him a lot. I'm trying to help him out with that problem. Haha! XD But don't know why I just envy him that he can like someone, and I envy that girl who can be loved by a gentleman. Haiz... How long had I been searching for this romance, but still it slipped away... Although I really envy them, I feel very happy for him that now that girl kinda notice him. She replied his messages and accepted his love for her. So, keep up a good work to get her heart buddy~! ^^ I'll wait for that moment! XD

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Taekwan . Gurney

Yesterday's Taekwando wasn't as bad as I thought. The Elmo didn't bother me anymore~ Which is good! But he keep blocking my way... =.= Hate it... The bad thing is, the whole lesson is about side kick! I stood there for 5 minutes each leg! And then need to carry Danicia's leg each on my shoulder for 5 minutes! And now today, my muscle are all kinda painful...

Today just went out with Dannie~! Which is our first time going out, only the two of us~ ^^ Fun and exciting! Finally privacy for us. We reached there quite early, so we went to Coffee Bean to have a drink, which is only me drinking my favorite Mocha Ice-blended. XD We sat there until lunch time. Dannie said that she loves me though O.o which made me kinda blushed! And she mean it! *blsuhed*!

We wanted to watch Alice In Wonderland, but 'cause it's holiday now, the queue is damn long!!!! So we decided not to watch... Haiz... We searched for some CDs in Speedy, then searched for Katrina's and Shalon's birthday present, which we promised long ago! We found Katrina's~! ^^ Will give it to her when school starts. We couldn't find Shalon's... Sorry Shalon! Your Prince of Tennis is really hard to find in Gurney's market... =(

Of course, never forget about mine~ I bought an earring which I was searching a long time! But too bad that we couldn't buy a pair for our friendship earring... =( Hope we can find it other days... We ate at Chopper Board, lots of people were looking at us, which is very weird and made us feel uneasy! Especially boys... =.= Well, who cares...?

And, guess what, we saw our Biology teacher! What a fate! Haha! XD Ok, our day just ended here. Hope to go out with others together next time~! ^^

-馨_Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Taekwando Life for Mid of March

Seems like March is ending. So, the sounds of exam is getting nearer, just around the corner! Xd But as you know, I won't study for exams. I'll just go for exams with what I've got in my head for now. I'm going to fail all I guess, of course except Malay and English...

Nowadays I'm bullied in Taekwando class, which is BAD!!!! I've never been bullied in my entire life! What to do? Just bear with it? 'Cause of that stupid Elmo, my life become more and more miserable nowadays. I got bullied by this Elmo, which is the highest grade among all students in CEC Center. Actually I should be standing with them, unfortunately I lose everything. My belt, my cert, my memory, all gone. I only can remember some baby steps.

I don't know why I got bullied by him. I wanted to ask him but you know, I'm afraid to talk to strangers and especially boys. I think I'll bite my own tongue once I open my mouth to talk to him. Well, during these 2 weeks of Taekwando lesson I got bullied by him and another person, Mr. Bald a.k.a. Mark Anthony II... I'll list down what they did to me... =.=

1. Elmo keep pointing my fist very hardly, which I hate. I hate boys touching me!
2. The next lesson on Wednesday, Mark Anthony II is so stupid that he doesn't know how to train people. Let me fall down and sprained my ankle... =.=
3. Next week, Elmo kicked my leg when I was doing a split, which it's painful!!!!!

See that, they are so bad to me... Bad!!!!But don't know why suddenly Spider got quiet recently... I think he changed for Dannie already... Haha! I'm happy for you Dannie~! XD But seems like my problem haven't solved. Extremely doom in Taekwando class... But luckily I took revenge in the last lesson! We were practicing free-sparing, and I kicked that stupid Mark Anthony II! Which made him shouted pain! Haha! Victory~~~~~!!!!! XDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After the lesson I kept cursing those black belts! Of course except Master, I really respect him. Seems like the black belts knew that I was talking about them that day, I'm digging my own grave now... *yeekz!* Now left that stupid Elmo, which I can't even solve! He's too mysterious! Which really makes me hard to read his mind! Haiz, I don't want to get bullied by him!!!!! Others are still ok, but him! No... T-T

I really need help about this. By the way, just now I went to Yamaha Studio, and it's not open! Shit! I just go there for nothing... Wasted my time... =.=

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Humiliate Myself!

This week is so lots of fun! I got to know the new students who transfered to my school. New friends are getting more and more, which is a good progress. Haha! XD Since I'm a science student, lots of experiment are going on. This week I think the best fun experiment goes to... Biology experiment~! Haha! XD which is to test out the osmosis of the potato strip in different percentage of sucrouse solution. ^^ Potatoes were chopped into tiny pieces after the experiment. Thanks to Danicia, Katrina, Suet Lynn and Nyuk Theng. Haha! XD but in the end our group is the one who need to clean up a lot. You can realize that the rubbish bin is full of potatoes which are provided by other groups, 'cause we don't have enough potatoes since we can't cut the potato properly...

And yes, this week some students are busying decorating the board of our class. The progress is really SLOW! Even though they took the whole day, it's like... Only a black background, title designed by lots of thumbtacks and some drawings by the side. I don't understand what takes them so long though. Well, we'll just see about that since I belong to the group searching for informations.

Now, for the day before yesterday's Taekwando lesson. It's humiliating!!! I twisted my ankle a little and fell down during the free sparing training... All is because of that stupid Mr. Bald!!!! Hate it! He's so dumb that he won't move backwards!!! Is he human or not?!!! Well, I can't blame him if he's really not human. I'll blame everything to Elmo- the red stuff then! The one who made my life miserable since I knew him the first day in the class!!! He's wicked!!! Keep bullying me and being evilly sarcastic!!! But what the hell is going on to this world?! Vernicia said he's the nicest among those black belts, even my mum said that he's good!!! My mum said he's very patient 'cause he taught a boy who had autism... Vernicia said he never scolded anyone before... Danicia said he's very smiley and happy type... Haiz... Today Danicia just said that she thinks that he's that type of guy that most of the girls will like him, 'cause he's handsome, kind of the perfect guy. Well, I can't say anything since almost everyone kinda like him. However, I'm sure that I WON'T like him!!!!! Hng!!!! Stupid Elmo!!!! I'LL KILL YOU ONE DAY!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!

Today in school it's OK... However! That Kala ordered us to go outside to have our lesson... What the heck man... And still asked me to sit right beside her! She asked us to search about the facts for sharks, which is rather stupid somehow. She made someone cried just 'cause her English is not that strong! How can she be like that?! She's so innocent, really. But I agree with her that crying is not going to help anything. Plus, we are teenagers now, we can't get very upset just 'cause of some critics. This is going to happen more, following our growth. Nobody is perfect, but you know sometimes people just forgot about it.

During Physics lesson, the teacher asked us to answer a question in the text book. We need to cooperate with someone which they really don't like Danicia and I. They don't know how to explain about the affects of inertia on an aeroplane, so they pushed it to us! And then suddenly someone like really don't want to cooperate with us said they will write by themselves, and I think she brainwashed Suet Lynn. =.= Really speechless about them...

-馨_Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

~A Word A Day~

Today lots of things happened in a day. I went back to Negeri Sembilan again. Well, it doesn't bother me that much. I just sleep throughout the whole journey. ^^

By the way, I heard from my mum about what my uncle commented about me that day when she was talking to him. He said as a family we should give each other to what we need while what we have. He asked me to shut my mum up when needed 'cause I'm quiet... (just in front of the family... ==) And he asked my mum to monitor me not to be such a... Bimbo? I don't know how to say that... Plus he asked me to protect myself 'cause I'm sexy...(?) Well, I don't care. I'm not even what he thinks. -,-

Before we left Johor I remembered what my parents said to me. I do agree with some of the advices. Humans are meant to be enjoying, is yourself who make it complicated and suffering. I realize I'm a person who likes to complicate things up, which makes myself feel that how unfair the world is. Another thing is I found out that my dad really love my mum. Everything he'll stop my mum from doing it and asking us to do it. Well, I hope I can find a husband like my dad, so good, no need to do anything. Haha! XD

Just now we met up with my dad's high school's best friend. He was a naughty in high school times. He didn't study well. Not like my dad. He's a great fighter, independent man. Although he didn't continue his studies after Form 5, now he's a big boss though? Better than my dad. Haha! XD Well, lots of stories between my dad and him. ^^

Tonight is a silent night. Just a bit og the sounds of fireworks. The most annoying voice is... My brother's laughter... == I don't know what happened to him. Maybe he's too bored so it causes my brother to be in a temporary mental disorder? Well, he was checking out my dad. Even my dad shakes his leg can make him laugh like a hyena... == Something has gotten into him. Well, now time to sleep. Tata...

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

I Don't Like CNY... ==

I wish everybody a very happy Valentine's Lunar New Year. This year's CNY is a nice date, which is Feb 14th, celebrating it with Valentine's Day. Although it's a romantic new year, I still don't like it. Well, as usual. I don't like new year.

I went back to my dad's hometown. All the relatives neglected me. I called them respectfully, which is the Chinese tradition, but still they don't care about me! Or even not looking at me in the eye. I felt so sad and frustrated about it. Am I really don't belong to this family? Did I do anything wrong to make them treat me this way? I don't know what to do. But thanks to my friends who cheered me up about this. If not, I don't know who to express how I feel. ^^

Well, while I'm writing now I'm now at my grandma's house, lots of things happened. My uncle now is better than a few years back then. He said I'm very pretty, which I think he's just saying it. If I really am I won't be single and forcing myself to be single. Not like someone who has her beauty to make guys fall for her. I admit I'm not pretty. Haha! XD

Just now I went to my aunt's house to pay a visit to her husband's family. It doesn't seem that everything is going as smooth as I thought. I wanted to write this post earlier, but sudden;y my parents asked us to go to their house. Of course I got fed up. So long ago I didn't get to touch the computer. While I had the chance to touch it then things just popped out.

At my aunt's house, I got 'lectured' by my mum with that radioactive expression. My cousin was on Facebook. He was playing Farmville. Lots of people are playing that game, which to me it was very boring... == My mum thought I played Farmville, then I said I didn't. Since she asked me why so I replied that it's boring. What's wrong with that?! I couldn't understand that. You should say what is in your heart! What is so good to hide it?! Well, my conclusion is, keep my mouth shut next time. When I said this sentence, my dad scolded me for not listening to my mum's advice. Whatever, I don't care that much.

Then, they're talking about the steamboat dinner just now. The purpose is to celebrate my uncle's birthday. But my uncle said that if we wanted to celebrate for him then he is not going. Fine, so we went all together with a reason for family gathering. Well, seems like even though we managed to lure him out, he still didn't enjoy the dinner. To tell the truth, it's just the crowd, nobody enjoyed it.

From all the incidents above, I know that this world is full of lies. Even though it's just all those white lies, they're still lies. Well, this world is really pathetic.

By the way, even though my dad's family neglect me, I still enjoyed listening to funny stories from them. One of my uncle shred with us a story. There's once he worked in Heineken. One day, his boss went to Africa. He asked the helper to wash the car for him. Ya, he's good to follow orders. But who knows, he even washed the inside, but with water!! Haha haha!!!! XD

That day, we went to my belated grandma's sister's house. My brother told me that they were asking about his ambition. Well as usual he said he wants to be an author, in Mandarin is 作家. But they thought is 做家, means doing a house! So they were like 'what is that? what is this job about?' Haha!!! So cute~~~!!!!!!! XD

Conclusion, I like my dad's side more than my mum's side.

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

What A Word...

School is a place to pour out your emotions. As for today, I'm kinda down. My dad woke up late in the morning. Ya, I think it's his business again which make him like that recently, which I really don't like it... At first we could managed to arrive school on time. However, I asked money from my dad to pay for the fees I haven't pay. So, we went home with my breakfast took away. He decided to prepare himself to work before fetching me to school. He said give him 5 minutes. Ok, I trust for once 'cause this is about out time, not only mine. Seems like I can't trust his time management anymore, I was extremely late! I'm very frustrated about this! I came to school with a dark face...

Today Katrina is absent, which made me feel kinda empty without her. At least I still have Danicia. Just less a friend that's all... The thing is without her the 'gang' really annoyed me this morning (you'll know who I'm talking about). Cleo wasn't that annoying, as usual. Today is another member of the gang came and asked me something. She asked a very weird question. Although it wasn't annoying but it really stucks in my head now! Ya, I'm not a positive person. I'm 'negatively charged'. I just looked happy, but the fact, no... But at least putting up a smile can brighten up my day and brighten up Danicia's. That's why I stay happy. I'm a 'negative' so? You can't say I'm cosing up myself in my own small world. What about you? Keep sticking with the same people. You don't mix around with people in the class. I know, I observed you everyday. You're always lonely when they dumped you alone. You shou;d've admit that you're the one who is alone. I wanted to help you out but seems like the attitude of yours had changed into someone I don't know anymore. You changed a lot. There's nothing I can do to help you out anymore. Keep sticking with them that's all you can do. I don't know you anymore... But what you said this morning I really keep it in the bottom of my heart, I'll remember it. One day I'm going to show you that you're the one who is wrong!

After school I went to the book exhibition with Danicia. I bought a book there. And another book I booked it~! Haha! XD Well, I'm just curious about the books... == haha! XD

Today's Taekwando lesson is the most interesting lesson ever!!!!!!! XD I love it~! And, I stood with the senior belts again~! Haha! XD Today's special...:-Sparing-!!! Haha! XD love it love it love it!!!!!!!!!!! I teamed up with Danicia again, arranged by master. Haha! XD Thanks master~! ^^ Sparing was full of laughter 'cause another senior black belt master taught us 5 techniques of sparing. Before that we were training for the basic sparing. The higher level you go, the more fun it is~! (some kinda hypothesis or conclusion...?) Well, hope I can remember all the techniques though... Next time I can use it for good~ Especially beating up that Spider... ^^ (wicked smile)

-馨_Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-