Parents, Parents

This morning my dad woke up late again. Haiz... I know... He was very busy until he couldn't get enough sleep, however I think it's his responsible to fetch me to have my breakfast and to school, so he couldn't just sleep until 6.30am.

He took me for my breakfast first and then went back home to get prepare for his work. I finished eating and waited for him to come. Oh man... It was so late. When I arrived school, students started to go to their respective classes. I waited for 4SA to appear in front of my eyes so that I can just squeeze into the line. And that was when I saw the baboon, but she didn't even stare or give me a glare or make a stern face.

While I managed to squeeze into the line, Dannie asked me did I find any changes in her. I was not quite sure but I saw her eyes were swollen a little. As I expected, she told me she cried the whole night. In my heart, I knew, it was her family again.

She told me about it during Malay period after her oral assessment. Her tears rolled out of her eyes, her eyes became red and teary. She told me the whole story about it. And then she told me that her parents talked about me. Somehow when she was talking about that, I think her parents were trying to hint me that I'm a bad influence to their daughter. Somehow that thinking just came into mind.

She said that I'm her first priority 'cause I'm her best friend, a person who she can talk to, a person who care for her. Yes, I always am standing by her. I wanted to help her from her world that's full of depression and disappointments. It's not fair for someone like her to have everything bad on her shoulders. I have to help her. For me, it's somewhat became my everyday life to help her, listen to her, comfort her. It's like a duty or a responsibility 'cause I'm her best friend. I am! And that makes me out of my thinking that I shouldn't exist in her life. Even if her parents don't like us to be so close together, I'll be with her, I'll never back off.

As I listen to what she said, I think, her parents actually do care for her. But in a different way. It's way too different to make teenagers like us to think that that's love, 'cause it isn't what we thought about love.

Sometimes parents are over-protective and try to tie their children up, they didn't realize it. Yes, whatever you do there's a limit, but sometimes parents are really doing it to the extent.

Like Dannie's case, I couldn't explain to her. I don't have proof to say that her parents love her. They just keep her in and expecting everything perfect from her. Her parents love her, but to whoever who sees it in a direct way, it's not love! This is not the way to love! Her parents weren't giving her freedom, privacy and forcing to like whatever they wanted her to like it. Dannie, I really do pity you. Your dreams just fade away and your talents were killed by your parents and your sister. They just wanted you to follow but not thinking what you wanted.

Somehow after listening to you telling me what had happened, I started to realize how wonderful parents I have. My parents treated me better than how Dannie's parents treated her. Haiz... But nothing is perfect, nothing is enough. Maybe, parents just express their love in their own way, but we couldn't understand. They kept saying that whatever they did for us is for a better, easier and happier life for us, but we couldn't understand 'cause in any way it isn't a life that we wanted. What I hope is what they said it's real and what they will never regret for what they did too.

Parents, parents... How can we understand them as we are teenagers? How can we know what are you thinking? I know it's hard to be a parent but still we wanted to understand what do you want from us? What will make you look at us? What will make you notice what we wanted and what we did?

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