Parents, Parents

This morning my dad woke up late again. Haiz... I know... He was very busy until he couldn't get enough sleep, however I think it's his responsible to fetch me to have my breakfast and to school, so he couldn't just sleep until 6.30am.

He took me for my breakfast first and then went back home to get prepare for his work. I finished eating and waited for him to come. Oh man... It was so late. When I arrived school, students started to go to their respective classes. I waited for 4SA to appear in front of my eyes so that I can just squeeze into the line. And that was when I saw the baboon, but she didn't even stare or give me a glare or make a stern face.

While I managed to squeeze into the line, Dannie asked me did I find any changes in her. I was not quite sure but I saw her eyes were swollen a little. As I expected, she told me she cried the whole night. In my heart, I knew, it was her family again.

She told me about it during Malay period after her oral assessment. Her tears rolled out of her eyes, her eyes became red and teary. She told me the whole story about it. And then she told me that her parents talked about me. Somehow when she was talking about that, I think her parents were trying to hint me that I'm a bad influence to their daughter. Somehow that thinking just came into mind.

She said that I'm her first priority 'cause I'm her best friend, a person who she can talk to, a person who care for her. Yes, I always am standing by her. I wanted to help her from her world that's full of depression and disappointments. It's not fair for someone like her to have everything bad on her shoulders. I have to help her. For me, it's somewhat became my everyday life to help her, listen to her, comfort her. It's like a duty or a responsibility 'cause I'm her best friend. I am! And that makes me out of my thinking that I shouldn't exist in her life. Even if her parents don't like us to be so close together, I'll be with her, I'll never back off.

As I listen to what she said, I think, her parents actually do care for her. But in a different way. It's way too different to make teenagers like us to think that that's love, 'cause it isn't what we thought about love.

Sometimes parents are over-protective and try to tie their children up, they didn't realize it. Yes, whatever you do there's a limit, but sometimes parents are really doing it to the extent.

Like Dannie's case, I couldn't explain to her. I don't have proof to say that her parents love her. They just keep her in and expecting everything perfect from her. Her parents love her, but to whoever who sees it in a direct way, it's not love! This is not the way to love! Her parents weren't giving her freedom, privacy and forcing to like whatever they wanted her to like it. Dannie, I really do pity you. Your dreams just fade away and your talents were killed by your parents and your sister. They just wanted you to follow but not thinking what you wanted.

Somehow after listening to you telling me what had happened, I started to realize how wonderful parents I have. My parents treated me better than how Dannie's parents treated her. Haiz... But nothing is perfect, nothing is enough. Maybe, parents just express their love in their own way, but we couldn't understand. They kept saying that whatever they did for us is for a better, easier and happier life for us, but we couldn't understand 'cause in any way it isn't a life that we wanted. What I hope is what they said it's real and what they will never regret for what they did too.

Parents, parents... How can we understand them as we are teenagers? How can we know what are you thinking? I know it's hard to be a parent but still we wanted to understand what do you want from us? What will make you look at us? What will make you notice what we wanted and what we did?

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Taekwondo Mania! Part 2

The first time I was early for Taekwondo lesson. Haha! XD 'cause my parents need to meet up with their customers and business clients. I fetched Dannie and her sis then we waited for the previous class to finish. That time Dannie was doing Kala's grammar homework. I can say, that homework will kill anybody's brain. =.= We got to use all the connectors given to form a paragraph. Both of us were having a serious brain freeze when it comes to this.

Ok, here it comes. Taekwon~ And then it's our turn to attend the lesson... Haiz... Elmo again... =.= Seeing him is the worst thing ever in my life! Without the 'gang' I would've had a better life!

I thought Master was going to free us from training. I thought it was going to be better to leave the 'gang' there. Guess what, colour belts need to train our basics with Elmo!!!!! Yeekz!!!! Oh god...! He purposely made us tired, and we didn't get to rest or even drink water!!! Luckily my stamina still can handle this stupid Elmo's tortures! But he kept bullying me, asking me to shift my foot or open my 'L-stand' wider. What the heck! How dare he even touch my feet with his feet!!! Get lost you red evil fuzzle!

Finally, I can go home and not seeing this red evil fuzzle... But before I go home, I need to take my belt~ I'm upgraded~! Haha! XD However, I'm still the lowest grade among the others in the 2nd class... =.= How humiliating... And, I gotta see Elmo the red evil fuzzle again!

He was sitting in th car searching for something. His position is like spider crawling on the passenger's seat! Haha! XD Training himself into Spider I guess... Well, what can I do...? I couldn't avoid him either... Haiz... Just sacrifice a little then... T^T

I asked my belt from him and he purposely didn't wanna pass my belt to me! Keep acting all ignorant! Dannie and I kept shooting him with emphasizing the word 'Elmo' and talked about Dannie's blog, but he didn't react. He only reacted when Dannie said," Do Elmo care about us?" when he advice us not to drink too much water after the lesson. Haha! XD And then well I was waiting for him, he was looking at the medal and asked us what colour is it! Did he expect us to go near him and tell him what colour is it?! Can't he see for himself?! On the lights if you can't see, stupid Elmo!

I got my belt and Dannie already gone home. I got a size 5 belt, which I knew it was too long by looking! The Elmo still threatened me that try the belt now and if it's too long still can change it today, but not after today! How dare he?!!!! Argh!!!!!!

I was waitning for my parents. Well, today is the first time i went home later than Dannie. Haiz... Master was about to go but he waited for me to go home first only he leaves. O.o Thanks Master but actually you don't need to wait for me, I'll be fine. And you know... Elmo is in Master's car too... So... I don't wanna make things become Elmo is waiting for me to go home too... =.= I hate it...

For today, my school life is going on as usual except knowing Mr Bald Junior will be anywhere around school. And me recalling the 'gang' stared at me during Taekwondo lessons made me feel all angry! Don't know what will happen if I continue to be in the same center as them. =.=

Today the baboon only shrieked once. Good! Keep her mouth shut with a banana~ Plus today our school dismissal time is later than the rest of form 4, so we won't be seeing her baboon red ass. XD We had our lunch at Super Tanker peacefully~ While we were eating, Dannie suddenly suggested us to call Elmo as Elmo Korr Korr, as he always call Dannie as Jiie Jiie. Haha! XD Good suggestion Dannie~ I think we should start calling him by that~!

That's all for today I guess. And my house's washing machine is really making me spinning! ya, it spins. It also makes me spin! (headache) =.=

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Mother's Day Special?

Today is Mother's Day isn't it? For me, today isn't a special day either. Actually everyday is a special day, isn't it? It's a miracle that you can open your eyes the next morning and see everything so beautiful around you. To me, all these special days are just meant for having lots of profit for gift shops and restaurants.

Well, today my dad had a 'family meeting' with us. He gave us responsibility to help mum the housework. Is this to celebrate Mother's Day? Haha! XD I'm not sure. What I'm sure about is my busier days are coming... Haiz... Although I don't like it, I have to do it, there's nothing I can do.

Finally I get to go to drum lesson. Haha! XD Teacher, I apologized that I didn't attend your class for 2 weeks! Yeekz! By the way, the training today made my wrist all painful... Ouch... Luckily the bruises are healed so there's just the pain on my wrist. Thanks to teacher, he gave me a difficult song piece that needs to shuffle like hell! Aikz...

Anyway, I think today is a fine day that I waited for so long ago... ^^ Peaceful, no more fights... Except for the baboon and the 'Black Belt Gang'... They make me nuts! Ish!!!! Hope my good luck will come in handy. ^^

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Taekwondo Mania! (1st post that's shocking...)

Ha... Today I have to wake up early in the morning for school activities. I'm so tired but yet I have to attend school for club activities.

Yesterday, the 'baboon' just shrieked in the public to us! Oh my god~! Wouldn't it humiliate itself in front of the public? I wonder... Or maybe it doesn't have any pride at all? XD Well, who cares? It didn't humiliate me then I don't care a shit about that red-ass creature. And it was the one who came here. How dare it accused us that we were like intruding her territory? Weird baboon... Yet it said it didn't want to see us. Actually it should go off itself since it came here by itself later than us. == Finally she left but still shrieking. Well, let it shriek. It is a baboon, what do you expect...? -,-

Guess what, today we need to see the baboon again! Luckily she didn't do anything to us, 'cause there are teachers around. But if she dare shriek, I'll use my socks to shut her up! XD

There is something interesting happened this morning. I went to eat my breakfast at the market nearby my house. I saw someone who looks like Specs Boy! O.o I wasn't sure about until my mum asked him when he served over the food! Yeekz! >< ( please do know that my mother is a freakish person that she can do anything that's in her control...) That time I thought I'm doom! Luckily, my mum just asked that whether he learns Taekwondo or not... So the answer is... No... So, lucky~ I won't meet someone here often then... But it really was shocking. Another thing is... Mr. Bald Junior is studying my school! Yeekz!!!!!!! >< I don't even know that he existed in my school for so long! How can he be here?! I'm just afraid that he heard what Dannie and I talked about them... Oh no... Hope everything will be as usual after finding out this unwanted truth!

Now, wish me good luck whenever I go then. I feel that anytime I'll just bumped into one member of the so called 'Taekwondo Black Belt Gang'... T-T

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Gloomy Day

Today I went to Danicia's house earlier than usual. We need to meet up Ms. Kala for the Zone and District English Debate Competition. This IS serious! One mistake and you'll be complained like shit... =.= This time things worked upside-down. We are the timekeepers for the debate (tomorrow is Dannie, and then the day after tomorrow is me!) and we need to countdown the time this round! Which is totally different from the past Debate Competition! Yeekz! O.o! I hope I can cope with it then... Wish me good luck.

Everything went fine today but not until Chemistry lesson. Before that, Dannie was being scolded innocently by our Maths teacher. O.o! Just because she answered her question wrongly and she needs to stand for so long. Actually this is because previously the teacher was frustrated that Sheau Wen didn't pay attention in class and answered it wrongly. But this doesn't mean that she can just yell at other people right?! I don't get her... =.= Of course, things got moody from there... Thanks to the teacher who simply yell at innocent students...

Obviously, Dannie's mood changed. I understand why. It wasn't fair! Like these days ma parents wanted to get through me about the incidents happened recently among us. But still it's unfair! I don't get it! Why should we pay respect to someone who doesn't respect you in the first place? I think that everybody, no matter elder or younger are still humans! There's nothing to differentiate unless you are something not human! Ha... Just don't get it... Anyway, adults just like giving excuses to push everything to us... Unfair, unfair...!

(Back to the topic)
In the Chemistry lab, Dannie sat further away from me. I thought she doesn't wanted to talk to me anymore. Plus, I didn't wanna interrupt her from her Chemistry Lab Report homework. That's why I kept quiet. I was puzzled to see her suddenly so close to Jia Joe and Hooi Nee, which happened once in a blue moon! O.o! I looked at her, but she ignored me. I guessed she really doesn't wanna talk...

I tried to start a conversation but don't know what to say. So before school ends, I told her that I wanted to go to the library to return the books. At first she couldn't hear it, I laughed, but she just gave me a smile. Then I repeated my sentence, she nodded. "What can I do to know what you were thinking, Dannie?" I was thinking about it in my heart.

After the school dismissal bell rang, everybody rushed out the classroom. Dannie needs to throw the rubbish today, so I waited for her. When she was done packing up then she walked out, not waiting for me. I sped up my footsteps. I don't know what to say, just mere silence between us. I think she knew, when she's gloomy, I won't talk and let her calm herself down and open her heart to me, tell me everything.

Time passed and still Dannie stayed gloomy, and me waiting for her to talk. We couldn't make up our mind where to eat. I showed my purse to Dannie that I don't have money. She remained not talking and just using sign language to communicate with me. I was kinda sad actually. I don't know what had happened and the first time I felt so clueless and helpless.

Finally, we decided to go to Bucket Shop to have our lunch. I don't have any money to eat, so I was waiting for the Money Tree (my brother) to come and 'rescue' my hunger. Dannie spoke, she said she can lend me some money. I declined the offer, 'cause I was afraid this will spoil the whole atmosphere between us. Plus, I don't want to owe her money.

After that, we remained silence again. We read our books we borrowed from the library. My brother came, she was a little lightened, as you know my brother is the funny guy. I was waiting for food and then suddenly Dannie stood up and said she needs to leave. So I just waved her goodbye and she was gone... I knew something had happened, but just I don't know how to let her tell me.

Until just now, she text me. Everything was just a misunderstanding. Haha! XD We laughed at ourselves, being so thoughtful about each other. And her blog wrote about it too. Haha! XD This is funny~! As usual, we always resolved our fights or misunderstandings. Hehe! ^^

Here's a message for Dannie:
Dear Dannie,
I'll never hate you except for last year that you didn't tell me about the whole thing about MH & BH. I thought you hid something from me. That's the only thing that made us apart since we knew each other. And this made the whole class kept crapping about me too. But thanks to you that I realized not everything you must tell me. Everyone has secrets to keep. This is what I have learned from Si Chia. She made me realize how selfish am I.

And if you have anything just tell me. Like today's incident, you could just talked to me about it. Please trust me as your best friend ok? Love you Dannie. ^^

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

Unforgettable Past

On friday night I just had a fight with the whole family. Why is everybody opposing me in the family? What does it mean as family actually? I don't know. I feel that I just have parents who only care about their business and money. Everything is money! Money makes the world goes round. That's right. Nowadays parents don't try to understand what are their child thinking. As long as we are wrong they'll scream our heads off!

That night was a terrible night that I couldn't forget how much I hate my parents, including my brother. I was doing my homework given by Ms. Kala. The clock struck at 8pm. I kept wondering when are they going to go for dinner. As I was thinking, suddenly they shouted me out for dinner. I replied their rude way of summoning me. But seems like they didn't hear it. They got all fury, so was I! Then because of that my dad gave me a 'lecture'. What was wrong?

As they said, they called me for many times, but I didn't respond. From what my ears could hear, they only called me for the 2nd time! How can they just scolded me for this misunderstanding?! I tried to explain and tried to make them understand what was going on. But who knows, they don't even want to listen and they are right, as usual. They gave me a good lecture and made their own conclusion that it's all my fault. And my brother said that last time he was just like me, but he couldn't learn anything like that, so he asked me to change my attitude! Don't think you are elder and so-call all grown up then you can just give me a lecture too! Shut up! The greatest thing is my parents still can talk about their business while this thing isn't all settled! I cried silently in the public. I couldn't stand the hatred and the pain in my heart. My family is entirely changing. I no longer recognize them...

This morning I saw someone posted an interesting post on Facebook. I told ZhiKang the truth about the girl he loves might have a boyfriend already. Sorry ZhiKang, I didn't mean to make you all sad and so depressed. I'm sorry... But if don't tell you the truth one day you'll found out too. And that time I guess, you are so into her until you'll have a major break down that time when you knew it. As Chinese saying, "长痛不如短痛". I really don't want to see it when you have that major break down that I couldn't imagine. I truly am sorry for you.

And now you made me think of Ming. How awful... == Why would I suddenly think of this past...?! I wanted to forget it but seems like it's difficult. Can anybody just kill me?! I don't want him to remain in my mind and my heart. I can't move forward with him remain as the saddest memory... If we can't be together, then just kill me... Please!!! He is in my mind, that I keep thinking of him and having illusions of him by my side. He is in my heart, that I kept feeling that he still loves me and having illusions that he haven't forgotten me. I can feel his existence everywhere. If this continues, I don't know what will my future be... I really have no idea how can I move forward...

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-

April's Over- The First Happy Post

As you see my previous post, I wrote about the busy April life I'm going to live. Now, it's all over. ^^ There are the ups and the downs of course. But, I managed to face everything till the end of April.

Well, the beginning of April I was rushing for my Public Speaking, which is important to me, 'cause it's representing the school. Unfortunately, Ms. Jaine had chosen Charissa for the Allocation. I was kinda disappointed actually, but still I was happy for Charissa. ^^ Since the day Ms. Jaine chose us for the competition, we became friends although I don't really like to mix with prefects. XP

On the very day of our school's Sport's Day, Charissa went for the competition. Unfortunately she didn't have a victorious ending for it. XP Whereas me, I was kinda angry that day 'cause I thought Dannie left me alone and went to Katrina's side. Actually, it was just all misunderstandings. Maybe I was jealous back there... XP

During this whole April I was playing Scrabble with Dannie! I almost gone insane by playing it every week! 囧！！！！！！

Throughout the month, here comes Taekwondo examination. I was very confident that I'll get my yellow belt, but who the heck knows that Master straight let me go for the exam with Wei Loon who was a green belt! 囧！！！！！！！！ I was frightened, totally! You can ask Dannie about it. My face went pale and emotionless. It was a big shock! In my heart, there's fear and only fear! I didn't know what to do and just do what I could remember! I did my Kwon-hyo wrongly, obviously! After the exam, I sat down at a corner and caught my breath. But still I was so frightened that my legs went soft and jellified!

Lastly, the tournament... *ta-dah...* I don't like MRSM! They kept pushing people during sparring! HATE IT!!!!!!! I thought I didn't win anything, but who knows, I got bronze for individual sparring and silver for team sparring, thanks to Ms. Red Belt, Clarissa and Vernicia. ^^ By the way, Clarissa got the best female student under 12 big trophy~~~~!!!! Thanks to Clarissa who make CEC glorious~! XDDDDD Unfortunately she went back earleir, if not she will be known throughout the whole SPU group.

And guess what, I got triple promoted~! Haha! XD Now green tip but still need to stand at the back row, 'cause others are higher grade than me... Haiz... Humiliation...

The most horrified news is... Elmo knew we nick-named him as Elmo!!!! 囧！！！！！！ Doom! Maybe even Spider knew... Thanks to Vernicia... Haha! XD It's damn funny to let them know actually. I wish I can see that face when they heard us calling them like that! XD Anyway, I love Taekwondo! I'll put all my focus on it! Go Ashley! XD

-馨Don't Speak 被你着迷>孤单<-