我是个SB

  现在的我已经有着接近两年的工作经验了。可以说从工作的第一天到现在，我真的经历了好多，也终于找到自己比较卓越的领域。这个星期是咱公司的销售会议。老板确实邀请我去了。可今天没想到在这个事件出门交通会那么的阻塞。。。当时到了会议室我已经迟了差不多15分钟。我可以听到从会议室里传来的声音，门已经关上了。我在那儿徘徊一阵子，就是在想要不要大大方方地开门走进去。后来进了隔壁空着的会议室偷听，试探着要不要就这样进去。听着听着，又想着大老板肯定在里面了，我这样走进来会不会太没面子了。。。想着想着。。。就怂了离开了。。。orz 结果就回家换上工作鞋去上班了。。。整个路程上就想着待会儿怎么解释。。。

  到了晚宴，我照常的出席了。不过以看到上司们就会心虚。。。就不看正眼看向他们。。。其实早上去上班的路上就一直在后悔为啥没有直接推开那扇门。若我去了会议，可能前面几分钟会很尴尬，不过至少也不会变成现在这样更尴尬的局面。。。不过还是算了吧，都发生了。后来有些人问我白天都去了哪儿，没看到我出席。我也就能说有事去上班了。。。靠，真的我太怂了。。。orz orz orz

  以后就知道了。这句话还是对的：“迟到好过没到”。当然，不要迟到是最好的。。。

其实他没那么爱我？

  感觉好久没有投稿了说。今天为何会回来这儿写是因为现在心情烂透了。。。

  我现在在美国上大学，也快毕业了其实。现在在宿舍和一个同胞住在一块儿，感觉挺好的。我的室友是个典型的射手女。特别活泼开朗。和一个巨蟹女的我完全相反。

  我为啥会心情不好？有3个理由。

1. 室友她妈来了。主要是要帮女儿在夏季之前买辆车。她妈是挺好的。第一次出去吃饭时还请我们了，现在也帮我们做饭啥的，只是她有时就照顾得太多反而显得她多管闲事又强势（她一旦要做个事谁也阻止不了她。。。）关键是因为她是长辈，虽然有时真的有点按捺不住，还是得尊敬她。她说通畅旅行都是和一群朋友。不过因为这次一个人来就感觉寂寞，就会特别粘我和另一个同学。我说，这位阿姨，我自己的父母都没你那么粘人呀。。。
2. 姨妈快到了。。。
3. 男朋友

  这为男朋友已经谈了接近两年了。我们差8岁。我手机和笔记本都坏了。他决定要买新手机给我。以一个典型摩羯男，他就帮我看哪款手机比较划算。我本来自己想买了一款但被他说服就跟他买了同一款手机了。当时付费有些问题，就需要他的脸书密码看是咋回事。他把密码给我后都没把密码换掉。我就问他为啥不换，不怕我侵犯他的隐私。他说懒得换，还说如果我可以守秘＋EQ高，那就任由我看。接着他却说，以他知道我的性格，应该会把他的私事和别人说。

  到这里我心都灰了，碎了。虽然我知道之前我把他的事情告诉我父母，他不高兴。我也意识到我确实做得不对。毕竟他是我第一个我想过要结婚的男朋友，我也不知道怎么谈这种比较成熟的恋爱。我不怪他为啥他不信任我，但他这么一说我心还是会痛。当然，跟上次我对他做那种事，这痛可能比不上我给他的痛。

  不过我要真的嫁给一个不信任我的男人，我真的会幸福吗？我觉得一对情侣最重要的就是对彼此的信任。如果他真的不相信我了，我们还能在一起吗？真的不知道该怎么和他开口。。。

My very first piano arrangement

This is my first time arranging a song. Lol, and this is an epic song -- Nero by Two Steps From Hell. It's a tough one to start off actually. But what can I do other than arrange it myself with reference to other score sheets I found? So this is the product of references and experience from Animenzzz's Bios, Guilty Crown. Hope it isn't that bad. I was trying to make it sound epic but failed miserably I think. Well, enjoy...? =/

In your face! 8D

Hi peeps. It has been a long time writing here. I'm having finals this week actually. But something great just happened! 8D

I was actually studying for finals with a guy friend. We walked into Borders to find a place to just sit down and study. And guess what, I saw the guy I used to like during my high school years and Danicia! Fyi, they are in a relationship now.

I didn't notice them until he waved at me and yeah, finally get to let him see that I'm now a changed person. I'm no longer the ugly duckling I used to be. Feel good showing him that I'm better now.

The both of them misunderstood that I'm in a relationship with my best guy friend. Well it's fine since my friend doesn't mind that. Plus I can make the both of them think that I have such an awesome "boyfriend". :P

So glad that I decided to make myself pretty. Thanks to my best guy friend who keep on pushing me and supporting me along the way. :D

BEST DAY EVER!! 8DDDD

</3

I see her frequently nowadays. And honestly say, it hurts! It hurts so much that whenever I see her I will feel that I'm a loser, I'm inferior to her, I'm ashamed to see her.

I know, he likes her but not me. I know this is how it supposed to be but I didn't want things to be this way. It's so unfair! I know him first. I enter his life first! How can she, who just came in the middle of everything get what I wanted. How can she be able just turn everything to her.

Fate, you are so cruel! Why do you always play with my love life. Why...? Did I do anything to deserve this? Or is it destined that I will stay this way for awhile. But, stop! I don't want to feel all these emotions anymore. Fate, you made me gave up on stirving for love. This is the second time that I let someone enter between us and ruined everything.

I know, I'm a no-good. She is shining, standing on her own two feet with head held high, elegant, smart and attractive.

I admit, I lose this battle. That is why I tried to let you go, although I can't let you go fully now. I need time. It's a dilemma. To let you go means to make you disappear in my.life or I'll disappear in your life. Things will settle down once you leave here I think. Sometimes I hesitated to tell you to get lost, that is because, you are important in my life and I'm not ready to lose it. But being beside you now is hurting me badly. I'm sorry I didn't fulfill our promise either. I just can't stop my heart to beat faster can I? I can't stop to make let things go your way. Even when my mind told me to stop, I just can't. In the end I'm trap in the palm of your hand. And you never know why I let things have your way, never know why I'm your so-called "easy target", right? :) you will never know...

Take the Fall

  I finally managed to climb up my journey in Taekwondo. However, this doesn't mean that I'm good enough and I can stop doing anything. This is just the beginning. What master and GM said is true, this is just the beginning of a long and hard journey to be at the top. Today we practiced some special techniques and I really face many problems in doing those special techniques. But, I think through martial arts, I have conquered my fear in taking the fall. I fell, and I'll rise again. Just that simple. Even if others laugh at your mistake, just take it and laugh at yourself too! :D you will feel better that way. Fall, rise, laugh, and do it again to improve yourself so one day you can fly. :) oh and don't forget to thank those who help you when you fall and let you soar. ^^.

  And here I have a very close male friend who is interested in knowing a girl. They started talking but somehow today he told me that he sensed that the girl felt annoyed. I don't know, maybe it was just his imagination. You know, when you like someone, you tend to be extra sensitive and careful in every step you make to know that person more. Well, I admit it's indeed a very difficult task to make things turn out right most of the time. However, I don't think he shall give up hope on this and continue the road he has taken. He just need to take things step by step slowly. Don't rush things and let it follow the flow. :) Maybe he can just not making the first move so much as this might scare her away... Well, I hope that every thing will be going well for him. :)

I miss you

  I don't know what did I do to have such a miserable 2nd semester of my college life. Every thing just happened suddenly and I feel like I'm going to break apart soon.

  TM has been sticking to a jerk's ass recently and it hurts to see that our friend is following the wrong person. I mean, it's not wrong that she likes someone but out of all people why THAT jerk?! D: She can do better than this. Well, I guess they just suit each other.

  What I know now is TM isn't the person we used to know. I feel so hurt when I knew things that she did that hurt all of us as close friends. I even cried in his arms when I heard all these horrible things she did. But to be honest, I don't fully believe in what I heard. Well don't get me wrong, it's just I want to know the truth and I wish to hear all of these from TM herslef. I seriously she will just come up to us and say it.

  Well, when the time comes, I seriously don't know how to react to that. Will I forgive her or not? I don't know... If what I knew were true, then I possibly might not forgive her. Or maybe forgive her but I woudn't forget what she had done. But honestly, I really do miss her. It was like 2 weeks or so since she followed that piece of shit around. How I hope that jerk didn't do or say anything to her that could change her.

  Actually after I have calmed down, I was thinking maybe she did care for us. Most of the time she was thinking of us just she was talking something bad about us behind our backs. I'm still not sure what she had done but if this was really true, then I can just say this might be her way of showing that she cares for us. She spent so much time with her till she can see our flaws and observed us all these 6 months.

  If that jerk really did do something to her, I'll stab him a thousand times and make him feel the pain we expereinced. I might even hit her but will still give her a helping hand after that. TM, we are always here for you if you need us back although we might hate you for what you've done. But, feel free to come home anytime. We know you have your own hardships and we hope that you can share with us so that we can help you. You really don't need to get other people's reaction like that jerk to hear you out and say something nice that poison you. If you fall, we'll be your safe zone behind catching you from the fall. We miss you TM. We really miss you. Especially WL... She cried for you so much. Please, don't hurt her any further...