朋友·喜欢的人

这次再次用华文写部落格了……朋友们，其实你们会不会觉得有事你的朋友有点烦呢？当他们问你今天有什么功课、明天要带什么书，种种问题啦……虽然我们都是好朋友一场不过人总就还是有限制的吧？不过对于喜欢的人又不太一样了。为什么呢？这我也不清楚……这应该是所谓的化学作用？

昨天我差点和我喜欢的人翻脸。有点危险哪……/~\…… 这还是第一次我对一个男人有如此的反应，可怕可怕……我真是个可怕的动物啊……呃！不是！我是说人类！囧！糟糕……最近一直和他谈话就习惯性的叫我自己是稀有动物起来了……=,=... 昨天的事我向他道歉了……他有那颗心要栽培我们学生我还对他这么无礼又恶劣，我真是糟糕啊……/~\…… 不过因为这样我发现到他温柔的一面。=) 他很关心我，告诉我有什么问题可以说出来。真是个体贴的男人啊……不能怪我喜欢他吧？过了一个又酸又甜的情人节果然不错……=)

虽然情人节已过去，不过我还是要在这里向大家祝你们情人节快乐！:D

Blogger Again

Hi, it's been a long time since writing on this blog. Honestly, I kinda give up this blog though. I just come to visit this blog again çause I kinda miss it... :p Btw, here's my latest active blog URL: http://aarinfantasy.com/forum/blogs/faerie31/ If you're interested in what's going on in my life recently, kindly check out this new blog I'm in to. :) Erm... I know it's kinda lewd to have an account on that website but you know, I just kinda fell in love with the art and the passion of BL. I'm sorry everybody, I'm impure! T^T...

Memorable Day · 最终话

After all the chaos we've been through, finally everything was settled. As besties, we've been through a lot I guess. I hope tonight seeing Elmo won't be embarrassing.

By the way, I'm writing this post 'cause today at school we were talking at ST. And I was really having a headache about my acne problem. D: So I said it out loud to them how much I was annoyed about it. However, my friend said that my face is now OK. Quite nice. I was like "really?! o_o" Anyway, I hope my face now is really OK.

There were a lot of boys at ST today. It was like... WOW! All of them dyed their hair either. So I was like... "must be those girls who invited them to come... =,=". That time I was thinking "it's good that I have a guy who doesn't care about my appearance and accept my everything".

After having my lunch, I went home together with my friend by Rapid Bus. It was nice talking to her about love topics. ^^. We share the same taste of guys, that's why. By talking to her, somehow I found the answer to the question. I like Elmo 'cause he gives me a feeling that he's very reliable. I like reliable guys. No matter how they look, they just attract me. Ah... How I wish I can find the guy for me...

Memorable Day · 续

大家好。这应该是我第二次用华文写部落格了。呃……先告诉大家这个续篇不是很好的一篇噢……

还记得我说过我想我喜欢的人拿到了电话号码吗？对了，现在正因为此事而出现了大麻烦！囧 其实我也不知道我做了什么让我的好友生气了。我是不是真的迷糊到一个不行？连最亲、最好的朋友生气了也不知道为何，我实在是一个失格的朋友啊…… /o\……但是我再怎么绞尽脑汁去想，我还是不知道我哪里做错了？我哪里触犯到她了？囧

自从有了这个男生的电话号码，我们两人的关系就有点起伏不定。他的影响力果然很大呢！（冷笑）我知道她是一番好意要把我们俩凑在一起，但是她忽然有了他的号码后就……老实说是有点滥用它了。而且我还没做好心理准备接受任何打击嘛！囧！

这件事是这样开始的：
我的好友告诉他在学校里发生的事。当然，别说是他了。若是我，我也一定会觉得奇怪为何要告诉我这些事情呢？她就说“用你的心来想”。这对我和他都实在是太难懂了。当然，我很感激她想让他知道我对他的情感，但是他都不喜欢我，他怎会想到那里去呢？我知道这件事后，我马上告诉他若我朋友说了什么奇怪的话，请不要介意。他告诉我没事，让我脑里打转了。就因为我对他那么说，我的好友就生气了。她说我的一句话让他一头雾水。可能会让他以为我的好友喜欢他，不是我。她的名声也会因此而被我破坏了。

就这样今天我们没什么说到话。我也不明白为何她那么生气。对我来说，这只是一件小事啊……为什么变得那么复杂了呢？为什么一个男生就可以搞扎我们的友情呢？我不相信我们的友情是那么脆弱的！我多么希望时间可以为我而倒退，但是这是不可能的事，也是不应该做的事。现在我只能靠我自己的双手解决这件事情。现在我不知要如何面对他们了……

有些人可能认为我应该向神祈祷，求他给我一臂之力。但是我不相信神真的存在着。命运是有我们自己的双手而创造的。我们做了的事，就要负起这个责任。

可能这个星期我不会去跆拳道练习了……要说逃避也罢。我承认我确实在逃避。但是我只能现在暂时躲在家里，我一定会把这件事搞清楚。我想她现在一定不想见到我，所以不去也是对的吧……？或许她永远都不想看到我了呢……？为什么做人就是那么痛苦？

Memorable Day

Yesterday is the first time I asked a boy's phone number myself. It was a brand new feeling that made my heart beat so rapidly that I could've just fainted on the spot! Well, it seemed hard to ask for it at first but thanks to my fellow friends that I could pull al my courage together and strife for it. Really thanks to you guys. ^^

Although I got teased when I asked for his number, I was really excited that I got it at last. Could it be a step closer to him now? I wonder... I guess this is the power of love? :D

Today when I showed his name card to my friends they laughed hysterically. However I wasn't embarrassed or anything. Somehow I felt that I've changed. I no longer care ones' looks. Although he might not look that good, I still like him a lot. For some reason...

Dannie printed out the Horoscopes. It was fascinating. ^^ It matches any one of us. It was kinda true there. But the disappointing part is my relationship will be very unstable if I couldn't change my attitude towards him. So, for the sake of having him, I got to change... Sighs... Love is just a hard thing...

Story of Specs

I still remember the day I participated my first Taekwondo competition in my lifetime. Dannie and I were on the bus and by my side was the nice view of Penang looking from in the bus at the Penang Bridge. The sky was pale purplish blue with flaming red from the Sun shining from the back of the mountains. We were both listening to music as loud as possible to cover the annoying voices of the kids on the bus.

That time I was like, "why are these kids so noisy? Can't they just keep their voices down and behave?" As usual, this is a thinking of someone who left the children ages. I remembered that I went back home with Dannie 'cause my parents didn't know the road to the venue... I admit it was really hard to go there. What I can describe is, from there I could see Penang Island from this part of the mainland. If you swim here, you could've reached earlier than coming here by bus. D:

That night was really tiring. There was a little boy in the car with us too. Dannie's mum asked him about his specs. Honestly, it was a pair of glasses that I'll never wear it! That was the glasses I have when I was Standard 4! D: Gosh!!!!! But who knows, he said that this specs is a sign that you'll be a doctor or a scientist in the mere future. Everybody gone bonkers and laughed as hard as we could. But now when I thought of it, why do we become so self-conscious? When we are still little, we don't care about fashion or how people see us. Why do we forget about the heart and mind we had as a child, the pure mindset we had? I wonder...

My Words To You

As you know I like XingLong a lot. Dannie always encourage me to go on and fight for my love. Well, I know I should just fight on even so I don't have the strength and courage to move on anymore.

You know, even though I know this is the first time I chased for a person so badly. A person who is so far apart from me in terms of age, rank and almost everything. He's a black belt, 3rd degree. Whereas me? I'm just a green belt, a sprouting flower waiting to have my bulb and full blossom. Isn't it obvious that we can't be together? Isn't it obvious that I have not much hope for this love? He's the full-grown flower in the center of attraction. I'm just a sprout that doesn't shine in the midst of bushes. He won't notice me, never. Even if I did something outrageous, nothing is going to change. I don't know what to do the make him notice me or see me as a girl.

Yesterday night was a proof that he's not into me - he was teaching us the patterns (which I already learnt it long time ago) behind of the class. I didn't speak much yesterday, somehow... I was in a bad mood and he was either. I was depressed after knowing that he wasn't that into me after asking for some friends' opinion. Or should I say, this current relationship really remains without a conclusion? Well, either he doesn't like me or this relationship remains without a conclusion, it could just ruin my whole day. *Sorry Dannie, I couldn't tell you on the spot although it wasn't your fault. I just don't want you to worry about me too much. Plus yesterday you were also in a bad mood after the scoldings you got from your parents.* Yes, back to the topic, he kept perlying me or you can say scolded me for being a dumb dumb back there... He said everytime he looks at me I look like my spirit has gone somewhere else, far far away. As if I didn't listen to him or whatever... I wasn't alright?! Do I need to nod to acknowledge you that understand what you're saying everytime?! Ah... Great! I'm pissed right now... =,=...

So you see... He doesn't show interest in me and look at how far apart we are... I just don't want to fight for it anymore. I'm tired... I had enough of it. I don't know what he's thinking either. I just couldn't figure him out. Too hard to get him, so far yet so close... This is the so-called unrequited love isn't it? Well, for now I want to surpass him to let me go closer to him. One day, I want to convey my feelings to him or just tell him I did like him before but now everything changed... Who know's what future awaits me?