Little Moments

~Little Moments with My Mum~
Do anyone of you thought of going back to the past? I had this thought after seeing my mum had the most beautiful smile on her face when she was with a little boy at my training center. I had never seen before that smile of hers. It was really heart-warming that my tears almost rolled out of my eyes. I wondered, years ago when I was still a little girl who didn't know anything, how can I forget what had happened before? How was my mum look like during those times? Ah... Seeing her smile really make me feel like crying...

~Little Moments with My Neighbor/Senior~
Nowadays I realized many sides of this interesting guy. Honestly, he wasn't that bad. He seems quiet but actually he just like any other young adults. He wasn't that boring either. He also make mistakes though. I always thought he was a perfectionist and cold-hearted. Everything looks so cold and perfect if it's him. However, sometimes he can be really funny, caring and a little clumsy. (≡^∇^≡)ﾆｬﾊﾊ There are times he tends to forget where is my house. There are times when he wanted to show concern but doesn't know how to put it in words. There are times when he turns into a bad boy, cursing people and break the traffic rules. He's getting interesting... ^w^

~ The Last Moment with Ryuu~
It has been a long time since I talked about Ryuu. The reason is... I've already told him I gave up on wanting him to be my boyfriend. It's pointless since he doesn't like me. I had been chasing around him like a fool for more than a year. It's just a waste of time. I think it's better to just end everything. Recently I didn't text him either. During lessons he doesn't wanna correct anything that I might had done wrong. He doesn't even wanna stand close to me or look at me in the eye. It's time to give up I guess. He has already started avoiding me. I already told him I'll just work hard to be his good friend as I know I can't be anything else other than that...

Happy B'day to me :)

Hiya~ Yesterday was my b'day actually Today I'm gonna celebrate at a hotel for Japanese cuisine~ Raw salmon and Unagi~ I'm coming~

Btw, many shocking things happened on my b'day... It has been a long time since my period stained onto my school uniform! o__o... It was so embarrassing and luckily that was after school dismissed... /o\... My fellow classmates sang b'day song to me in class. I was touched. And my FB is full of my friends' posting wishes of Happy B'day on my wall. Most importantly, Ryuu's friend, Waterfish, wished me in a very unique manner. He said he created it just for me. How touched~ TvT... But Haruki seems to have forgotten my b'day until I reminded him... =,=... Haru-nii wa BAKA!!! DX Anyway, Ryuu gave me a good laugh. It was the first time that someone said he wants to be the last one to wish me b'day. He was really funny back there. He called me and asked me what time is it. It was 11.59pm. The last minute for my b'day. Awww... Anyway, thanks to everybody for the wishes. Actually, I had a fight with my parents since yesterday... =,=... And I was supposed to attend school now for a pointless Malaysia government's event to encourage us to exercise frequently. I don't need it, obviously... As I already have TKD lessons almost everyday... =,=... So, here's the end~ Will be enjoying my food soon~ Ciao~ ;D

Sacrifice

Hey guys. こんぱんだ♪ヾ(●ω●)ノ”フリフリ [back to writing English] It has been a long time since I last wrote as I was busy the last holidays with activities. m(｡･ε･｡)mｽｲﾏｿ-ﾝ It was fun in YES! Camp. ﾜｸﾜｸ♪o(^o^o)(o^o^)oﾜｸﾜｸ♪ It's a camp for youths to build their self-esteem level and their leadership. The theme of this camp is to appreciate our parents who have care for us and give us the knowledge and wisdom. From there, I've learned a lot. I realized that we should face any problems with all our might. The slogan of this camp is the sky is the limit. Fyi, my brother gave a some-sorta speech before leaving the camp as he left earlier than anyone else. Everybody had tears in their eyes listening to what my brother said. I'm sorry I can't write it down here 'cause it was really long and it relates to our personal matters. Honestly, I cried really hard that day with my brother. Well, the best part was we had fun and made new friends. ((o(・ω・)人(・ω・)o)) ﾅ･ｶ･ﾏ♪ I miss them now... 。・ﾟﾟ･(≧д≦)･ﾟﾟ･｡ｴｰﾝ!!

The worst part for my last holidays was I was actually forced to attend the camp and I needed to reject the invitation for going to the Chocolate Fair with Ryuu~! 《《o(≧◇≦)o》》ｲﾔｧｧｧｧ!!! But, I never regret to attend the camp 'cause it was really meaningful. It was worth going rather than spending time lovey-dovey with Ryuu... ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ♪☆LOVELOVE('∇^*)☆♪｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　Sorry Ryuu... ｍ(｡≧Д≦｡)ｍｽﾏｰﾝ!! I heard from Ryuu that the Choco Fair was the worst 'cause there wasn't anything special there. Btw, my conversation about the choco was heard by my two roommates who are younger than me a lot. However, they are grew up so fast that they know more stuff about relationship than me! ∑(￣ﾛ￣|||)なんと！？

As holidays are over, the hard school days arrived. The days of suffering of a school girl continues. I was rushing with my project. Finally I managed to rush everything off in time. (*´∇｀*) Unfortunately, I haven't attend my Taekwondo lessons for 2 weeks continuously! ｵｫｫｰｰｰ!! w(ﾟﾛﾟ;w(ﾟﾛﾟ)w;ﾟﾛﾟ)w ｵｫｫｰｰｰ!! And since something happened to Ryuu and I, we are both so busy to attend to our issues, we haven't talk nicely with each other for a long time. I think it has been a month or so? Ah... I miss him so much although he doesn't... 恋のｷｭｰﾋﾟｯﾄ(*ﾟｰﾟ)§ｼｭｯ!!━━━ →(*ﾟｰﾟ)ﾝ? (*￣(　　　　　)ﾁｭｳｳｳｳｩｩ♪ Well, my next Taekwondo competition will be up soon so next week I'm going for training for sure! Fight!!(ｏ＾-^)尸~''☆ミ☆ミ

Btw, can anybody answer me why Ryuu doesn't wanna tell me what problem is he facing now? I talked to him about this and I told him it's painful that he didn't treat me as a friend. He said it's not what I think and if I have knew why he couldn't tell me I won't feel pain anymore. He said I'll know about this sooner or later. He doesn't want me to misunderstand him. What is this all about?! ∑(￣ﾛ￣|||)なんと!?

两个月的美梦……结束了……

大家好……▼o･_･o▼ｺﾝﾆﾁﾜﾝ♪ 好怀念这里噢…… 好久没在这里写部落格了~! 希望再次和我的部落格见面不会太迟…… 对不起噢…… 抛弃了你……　ｍ(｡≧Д≦｡)ｍｽﾏｰﾝ!!

最近真的有好多事情发生…… 就那么两个月里，我和他一起两个人出去也有两次了…… 不过现在那些我们一起度过的日子也只是一场好梦…… 没办法…… 只能怪我们没缘啦…… 最痛苦的是…… 我竟然无法忘记他…… 我们又没有交往…… 为何我会那么不舍得我们共同的回忆? 我也不懂…… 我到底对他有何感觉…… 不过这些也都不重要了…… 就像他说的…… 付出≠回报…… 而我就是为他默默付出了大概一年了…… 可是他喜欢的人不是我…… 我也没办法…… 只好放弃了…… 一起在以前跆拳道练习的地方谈心…… 现在那个地方被租主拿回来了，说不租了…… 一起到半山腰坐下来说笑的地方，一起吃晚饭的地方，玩手指的地方，离对方最近的地方…… 也只是一场梦…… 这场梦实在是太美了…… 就是因为太美，才不会永久吧……? 太美的东西不属于我…… 或许属于你吧，我的朋友? 看到你们即将幸福，我也只好放弃去追求…… 默默地为你们祝福…… 在一旁看着你们幸福…… 再见了…… 我曾经如此爱惜的人……

失败中的最失败……

自从昨天的跆拳道考试，我的心情就很低落……我万万没想到我竟然在考试中做了这么离谱的错误……而且连我自己都不知道的错误! 我做错的部分应该是100%完美的……可是……可是……! 我真的不知道我一直来所下的苦工是拿来做什么! 连教练都说我在其他地方学了一些烂苹果! 教练所说的话给我一个很大的打击……我真的不是去学这样的东西! 我真的很喜欢跆拳道……就因为喜欢我才花时间在它身上……就因为要磨炼去好功夫我当然要从别人身上吸取更多好的! 可是，看来我做了错误的选择……努力，有什么用呢……? 我说过我不会让我的跆拳道的大家失望……但看来我已失言了……我还让我的家人失望了……我好想法噢苏大家我的想法但是我心里的痛，我找不到字来形容……好痛……好痛……

回忆……

哈哈! 好高兴昨天的跆拳道比赛有收获~! 看来我的努力终于成果了……努力果然不会背叛我啊~ ^^ 但每次上了“战场”就要付出代价~ /~\…… 身上的伤好痛啊! 囧…… 给对方在兔子的右下角搭了一拳……/~\…… 还是不要告诉别人好了那不然别人会以为我很弱……我不想别人把我当成是一个柔软的女生看待…… 昨天和小孩们度过了一天真的让我会想起我的童年~ ^^ 以前我和同学们也像他们不管什么都可以一起笑，没有烦恼……还是有那天真的想法和纯洁的心……更让我觉得童年时光很可笑的是我们也曾经像他们把班上的同学们男女配对~ 哈哈哈! :D 不过现在的小孩们都出口成“脏”了……/~\…… 之前我们都不是这样的……难道这真的是因为西方文化的影响? o__o 不过真的蛮怀念童年的~ (我说到自己很老这样……) 昨天不只是有胜利的满足感和喜悦噢~ 有两个人送我巧克力~ :D 好开心噢~ 虽然都是巧克力但他们的心意都不一样……不过还是谢谢你们送我啦~ 巧克力最棒~! :D

继续演你千金小姐的角色!

有时候就算你尽了力，没有人会珍惜你带来的好结果…… 因为你不是灯光下的主角，没有人会注意到你……反过来的，就算你拿到了很好的成绩，他们还是说你不够好……然后把你和主角作比较……就算你心里知道你已经尽力、你比主角还做得更多更好的，每个人还是会靠着主角，拍她马屁。所以有时候我想过要退出……退出人生的这个情节……因为不管我怎么努力，每个人还是会批评我，说我不好……

这个主角可不是像连戏剧里的“做好人”主角噢……虽然她有副天使面孔、魔鬼身材，她的心事多么的复杂、多么的黑暗！你想象不到她会做出什么花招让所有人都认为他只得怜惜、让人想安慰她！她会告诉你很多很多她伤心的事情，好让你为她的演技流泪……有时还谦虚地告诉你身为“路人A”的你比她好很多……可是，有哪一句是真话、哪一句是假话? 谁会去想这些问题呢? 因为她的演技实在是太棒了！

当灯光都照向她时，她就会开始演出她可怜的样子，好让大家都保护她、关注她……但等灯光已熄，谁知道她背后是什么呢? 没有人知道，因为你不是她整个生活里的人，你只是看到她在灯光下的那一面! 而我，已经看到了那一面……我愿她能在演下去……好让我慢慢、静悄悄地胜过她! 就算那是主角是我，我也不想在灯光下!