I see her frequently nowadays. And honestly say, it hurts! It hurts so much that whenever I see her I will feel that I'm a loser, I'm inferior to her, I'm ashamed to see her.
I know, he likes her but not me. I know this is how it supposed to be but I didn't want things to be this way. It's so unfair! I know him first. I enter his life first! How can she, who just came in the middle of everything get what I wanted. How can she be able just turn everything to her.
Fate, you are so cruel! Why do you always play with my love life. Why...? Did I do anything to deserve this? Or is it destined that I will stay this way for awhile. But, stop! I don't want to feel all these emotions anymore. Fate, you made me gave up on stirving for love. This is the second time that I let someone enter between us and ruined everything.
I know, I'm a no-good. She is shining, standing on her own two feet with head held high, elegant, smart and attractive.
I admit, I lose this battle. That is why I tried to let you go, although I can't let you go fully now. I need time. It's a dilemma. To let you go means to make you disappear in my.life or I'll disappear in your life. Things will settle down once you leave here I think. Sometimes I hesitated to tell you to get lost, that is because, you are important in my life and I'm not ready to lose it. But being beside you now is hurting me badly. I'm sorry I didn't fulfill our promise either. I just can't stop my heart to beat faster can I? I can't stop to make let things go your way. Even when my mind told me to stop, I just can't. In the end I'm trap in the palm of your hand. And you never know why I let things have your way, never know why I'm your so-called "easy target", right? :) you will never know...
